Weekly Prescriptions: 7-13

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Hello my malady-ridden readers. Welcome to yet another edition of Weekly Prescriptions. Sorry for the lateness, but I had a case of "hideously pale skin" syndrome (an ailment approaching epidemic levels for college-aged men and women working ridiculously long hours for summer internships) and needed eight man hours in the sun on Sunday (appropriate, no?). In fact, part of that outdoor excursion included a tennis match between theShow and myself versus my dad, High Whites, and Fabrieccio. More on that, and of course some medicine to help you through the week, after the jump.

If you're not interested in the recounting of my tennis tale from Sunday, feel free to skip ahead. For everyone else, read on.

First, a little side note. Thanks to friend of the blog Cheb Khalid, we've had a recent fascination with giving one another nicknames that end in "man." The other guys have some funny ones, ranging from "pizza man" to "metro man," but mine is simply "aggressive man." I suffer from chronic, out-of-control competitive and killer spirit, which is commonly called COCKS. Anyway, I hate to lose, even in small time games with family or friends, old guys or little kids. With that in mind, you can almost picture me standing out there on the court. No shirt, Renton shorts, and a crappy Garnier Fructis bandana on my head (worn in the thick Rafa style) that was mirrored on the head of theShow (we asked High Whites if we could borrow a couple of bandanas, and he gave us the most awful ones he could find). One last aside before I recount the events: I am not a good tennis player.

So, despite a few good volleys and a whole lot of dominant athleticism (including your faithful Doctor crushing the tennis ball into High Whites' stomach without an apology), theShow and I quickly went down 2 sets to 0. The old man had played another game earlier in the day, so he told us that he'd play only one more set, but only if we wanted to lose again.

Being the man that I am, I said of course we'd play, and I didn't stop there. I kept talking, and wound up guaranteeing victory in the final set. Well, I may not have been sure of it at the time, but the fact that it was said made me even more aggressive and competitive. Despite our lack of talent and prior failings, we had to win.

And win we did. It was beautiful. We hadn't broken old man's serve all day, and we started out up 4-0. We were just hustling, dominating play at the net, and keeping everything in play. A few games later we were up 5-3, our advantage, match point. I was sick of playing around. theShow served, and the volley went for a while. We exchanged sides right and left a few times too many, and all of a sudden I was far too close to the center line. Fabrieccio hit a shot to the open court and we both made to run it down, him coming up from behind and to the left and me running almost straight back to it. We're both going to reach it, but I called him off. I wanted this one. I've played squash before, and this shot was all too reminiscent of those glory days (which I'll try to write about sometime soon). I reach the ball, wrist cocked properly, and hook it behind me right over the top of the net to the old guy. It dies as it reaches him, but he wasn't prepared anyway. The shot was too pure, too improbable, and too perfect. He got a racket to it and buried it into the net. We won.

And that is what this story was about. Winning with the odds stacked against you. Betting on yourself, the underdog, because you know that there is no way to stop the competitive drive living inside of you. There's just no way you can lose. And you don't.

Well, I hoped you enjoyed that little foray into the life of the Doctor. Now, without further ado, your cocktail of weekly prescriptions

Barracuda Bouncers
This video is disturbing and appalling. Seriously, don't watch it if you have a weak stomach. What the video shows is a bunch of bouncers at a bar called "The Barracuda Bar" somewhere in Florida mercilessly beating random people that apparently give them lip or attitude. Now you may be thinking, "But Doctor, fighting is cool, bro!" To which I would respond with a resounding "Absolutely!" But this isn't fighting. This is savage and repeated beating. The site says they were charged and not convicted. I just can't believe it. Watch for yourself, and never go out to any bar by yourself.

Cartwheel Knockout
Like I was saying early, Doctor Dozer does like good, clean fighting, kids! Mixed Martial Arts, as theShow will readily tell you, is a great sport for competitors and spectators alike. This video came across my screen thanks to SoBDD, so enjoy one on him. He made me repay him with a blowy, so I hope it was worth it to you, the reader. Obviously this doesn't compare to an 8 second knockout or a flying knee or spinning back fist landing perfectly to close a fight, but it's a damn cartwheel! A cartwheel kicking someone in the face! Try that one on your little sister, and don't tell you mom where you learned it. But DO tell your friends.

The Rock
As I sit at work lately, I read a lot about the coming presidential election. Comments from the campaign trail, predictions from analysts, analysis of analysis, and voters' opinions. Basically as much as I can find. What really has struck me lately is the lack of patriotism in this great nation. Barack is basically willing people to vote BECAUSE they are not proud of the country they are living in. And conservative organizations keep telling everyone how upset they are with their centrist nominee that they might not vote at all. What I haven't been hearing about, lately, are stories like these. I don't think I can add anything to what's said on the site, but definitely take a look. It's nice to know people still support the military and the job the soldiers are doing.

FFToday
Continuing on my buildup to fantasy drafts in leagues everywhere, here is another free fantasy football site that I love. This site doesn't have all the millions of articles that the pay sites do, nor do they have any free software or applications to take advantage of. The draw for them, then, is that their statistical analysis is some of the best in the business. They run numbers to test theories that are held industry-wide, discover new ways to properly value players, and are willing to take risks and admit when they have been wrong. Just a great site with some great writers. If you need a place to start, read everything ever written by Matt Waldman. You will not regret it.

Batman On Your Mother
Here's a throw away in honor of the Dark Knight release later this week. I'm not really sure whether or not the Joker will make Batman look this clown-like or not, although smart money is on Heath Ledger, I mean the Joker, to be dead... yeah that was tasteless. I actually very much respect Heath Ledger and am very sorry he's no longer with us. Let his performance be the one everyone says it is. Let it be one for the ages, one for the Oscars. And let this movie be as ridiculously awesome as this picture is flat out ridiculous.