Monday, September 21, 2009

College Football Power Rankings

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College football is a funny game. It's chaotic nature distinguishes it from every other major organized sports league in America. It's the only NCAA sport whose champion is not decided by a tournament-based system. Hell, the NCAA doesn't even officially declare a national champion of the "Division 1 Football Bowl Subdivision." The coaches/computer/media polls are certainly one of the nuttiest parts of this crazy sport that we love, and I'm not here to clarify the confusion. I'm here to add to it.

My power rankings order teams based strictly on what I believe to be the quality of each team, not desert. I believe USC is the sixth best team in the country, not that they deserve to go to the Rose Bowl before Washington or any other Pac 10 team with a better record. The basic test I used for the rankings is "Would team #1 usually beat team #2?" and so on. You'll notice that I only have one non-BCS conference team in the top 25, three fewer than most official polls. That's because I think these team generally suck and would usually lose to the teams I have ranked. (I think Boise State and Utah would be middling Pac 10 teams at best. Houston and TCU would be Big 12 bottom-feeders.)

One of the major flaws of the poll system is that it begins before the season does. Pollsters usually rank the teams based off of how many returning starters they have and how they did in the previous seasons bowl game. The drawback to having a preseason polls is that teams can only rise up the poll so fast and so far making the poll itself a determining factor in who finishes at the top. Those that start at the top have a clear advantage over those who don't. A major reason why the undefeated 2004 Auburn Tigers didn't play in the BCS national championship game was that they began the year ranked 17th in the AP Poll and 18th in the ESPN/USA Today Poll. This is why I believe polling shouldn't begin until after the third week of the season when we have at least a small sample size of performances to rank the teams based off of. (And why I'm starting mine now).

You can follow my rankings every week for the rest of the season here. Let me know how much you think they suck.

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Saturday, September 5, 2009

We Did Love Dinosaurs Once

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Well hello there.

So the resurgence I promised has failed. Did I make a valiant effort? Maybe. But probably not.

Life is a car in the fog on a mountain. Nothing you can do to see further ahead so you just take it as it comes. Carefully. Because it's pretty dangerous. To your left is a hard place; a rock, if you would. The side of the mountain wouldn't be so forgiving if you struck it, so you do your best to avoid it. But not by all that much. You hug its cold and honest face because to the right is the Cliff. You wouldn't make it. For sure. So you just try to hang on to the middle, whatever that means. You're a 2 ton mess of iron and you can do damage. To yourself and to the mountain. To the world. The mountain, the world, will heal over time no matter what you do, because despite your power, you are too small. You are a speck on a speck on a speck on a speck on a speck. Probably hundreds of specks smaller than that, too. But there is hope...

There is the sunset when the fog lifts. There is the other side of the mountain. There is the road you've climbed. The pebbles you've turned and kicked aside.

And there are people like Anis Mojgani. And poems like his. So take them. And run with them. And cling to their lines and use them as a guardrail when you think you may fall to the side. Or when you'll run into the mountain. Don't rush. Take it in.

Rock the fuck out.

Anis

Mojgani

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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

One Reader and Counting...

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Well, at least we know someone is reading.

SI.com's Ian Thomsen covers the NBA off-season:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/ian_thomsen/07/06/artest.turkoglu/index.html?eref=sihpT1#

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Monday, July 6, 2009

The Rich Get Richer

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After a season void of any significant personnel movement, the NBA's top teams are reloading for the 2009-10 season. The best teams of this decade (Lakers, Spurs, Pistons) and of late (Celtics, Cavs, Magic) have all made serious upgrades in the early stages of the off-season. If Bill Simmons' theory is correct, that the NBA enjoys its best seasons when the gap between the elite teams and the rest is widest, than we may be in for a great year.

Recent acquisitions:

Lakers - Ron Artest
Spurs - Richard Jefferson
Pistons - Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva
Celtics - Rasheed Wallace
Cavs - Shaquille O'Neal
Magic - Vince Carter

This is the rest of the post

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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Difference Maker

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The LA Lakers championship this season can be attributed to many things, and there were many reasons they failed to win it the year before (namely, the Boston Celtics). But one factor that I think was not acknowledged in the Lakers failure two seasons ago, and that made the difference this season, was Trevor Ariza.

Ariza got his due this year (including his name in an SI article headline) and rightly so. But two years ago, after getting injured a quarter of the way through the season, no one talked about the difference he could have made to the Lakers in playoffs. Instead of Sasha Vujacic missing open threes and getting abused on defense again (Ray Allen in game four of the 2008 Finals anyone?), Ariza was making hustle plays and hitting clutch shots for the Lakers in the 2009 playoffs.

What came to my mind was that Ariza played the same role for the 2008-09 Lakers that Manu Ginobili did for the Spurs during their 2002-03 championship season. When you watched that Spurs team play they just had an extra spark that was missing the year before (which ended with an early exit from the playoffs) and Ginobili was that spark. Ariza was that guy for the Lakers this year. Take a look at their averages from the playoffs those two years.












Manu Ginobili 2003 playoffs: 27.5 min, 9.4 ppg, 3.8 reb, 2.9 assists. Trevor Ariza 2009 playoffs: 31.4 min, 11.3 ppg, 4.2 reb, 2.3 assists.

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Monday, June 29, 2009

Race War!!!

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This post will be entirely related to the recent US Supreme Court decision that The Wall Street Journal so kindly outlines for us here. Basically, the decision ruled in favor of a group of white firefighters that sued the city of New Haven, CT for denying them promotions solely because of their race. Juicy enough for you? Let's talk it out...

OK, so Race War is something I'm familiar with. Just kidding. Actually the opposite is true. Being a recent alumnus of Reston College, the amount of diversity we experience puts the graduates of our fair institution probably in the top 1% of liberally-minded people when it comes to race. Boundaries simply should not exist because of color. People are just people!

But boundaries do exist. And color does matter. Just as it did for these firefighters. After taking a test to EARN a promotion (I will come back to the word EARN in a minute), they were told the test would be thrown out. The reason? Not enough minorities did well on the test, and the city wanted to avoid being sued by affirmative action supporters. The merit of the individual was disregarded because of the failure of a group, and that group happened to be made up of people that shared one similarity: they were minorities. Thus, personal performance and achievement were trumped by race. The race card once again acted as a net to save minorities that stumbled and a governor on the engines of advancement for the white individuals that worked hard to succeed and move forward.

Did the department intend for the test to hold minorities back? Decidedly not. They even testified that the reason they threw out the test was because it made them liable to suits by affirmative action supporters! In my mind, that means they did nothing wrong. They intended for the outcome of the test to act as a basis for promoting deserving individuals, and they even hoped that a significant number of these individuals would be minorities. So intent to make things fair was clearly their.

And that is all that matters. Or at least all that should matter. And the Supreme Court apparently agrees with me as their decision favors the white firefighters. And I thank them for entering the debate on race not on the side of white or black or any other color, but on the side of fairness.

I'll sum up now. For a long time race was used as a way to hold people back. Just as sex was. People feared difference, and fear turned to hatred and violence and simply evil. And good things have happened in the last fifty years to turn that around, thanks to heroes like Martin Luther King, Jr. and many others.

But we all know that. The question is where do we stand now? And I think the answer is that we have come nearly full circle. People see each other as equals, as people. We are now, finally, starting to look past race. No, not in every situation, but in both institutional and individual instances, and it's a noticeable change.

So we're down to the final question: where do we go from here? I fear that if things continue in the affirmative action vein, then race will begin to be used not as a reason to offer aid to minorities, but as a way to hold the majority back. And the Supreme Court seems to share my view in this manner. In this case it was clear that the city was holding white individuals back in order to allow for the group that did not do as well to succeed. And that group contained a substantial number of minorities, and it was clear that this was the SOLE reason that any action was taken at all. Situations like that cannot arise, and the Supreme Court was right to condemn this instance of it and all future instances as well.

EARN. I said it before, and I'm returning to it now. People, all people of all races, need to EARN their advancement. That is the American Dream. When people are held back or pushed forward without EARNING either treatment, the tenets of our great nation are put at risk, and that we simply cannot afford.

Given the same opportunities, race should not matter. Only what someone earns. However, people should be given the same opportunities, and the attempt to create equality, then, should come through balancing out the opportunities afforded to young people everywhere in terms of getting an education! If students are motivated to succeed, they should be given that opportunity. By the time they graduate from college, all students should have been given the same opportunities. What they chose to do with them, and what they choose to do after them, are entirely up to them.

Rx: Ignoring race completely

Signed,
The Doctor

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Saturday, June 13, 2009

Comedy Done Right (And in a Sterile Setting)

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Alright TV fans. It's showdown time. We're not going soft on anyone. No taking it easy. We are getting down to the nuts and bolts of two of my favorite comedy shows on television and letting them have at it. Think Celebrity Death Match from MTV but in real life. We're going to have ridiculously violent things happen to these shows in the octagon so that we can know once and for all which is best (and why).
Scrubs vs. The Office.
Lab Coats vs. Suits
Stethoscopes vs. Ties
JD's hair vs. Michael's hair
The Janitor's Creepiness vs. Creed's
FIGHT!

OK, let me get this over with. I KNOW Scrubs is dead. It's finished. The series finale came at the end of the last season (number 8), and there will be no new episodes ever. However, I a) am not all the way finished with my frantic catching up yet and b) am a tremendous fan of anything I've ever seen on the show. So bear with me.

And we're off. I reviewed The Office in my last post and was as cruel as possible with them. But I want to say this: it's a great show. Those of us that watch know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is one of the few shows still on the air that is worthy of tuning in for week in and week out. The cast is great, the writing is great, and the laughs are great.

But as Flor says in one of my favorite movies Spanglish, "[If] this was small enough to be [summed up in one blog post], I would be a fool to bring it up. But I need to say, no matter what the result... I need to be impolite!" I need to go to town on The Office because we should demand the highest quality from our television shows, even if they are currently among the best in existence. To do so, I will compare it to one of my new favorite shows: Scrubs.

Scrubs is fantastic for many of the same reasons The Office is. The characters are both ridiculous to the point where they are slightly unbelievable (which is definitely a good thing as humor that hits too close to home can quickly become not funny) and deeply and carefully characterized. Yes, JD is beyond absurd, but we are past that and fans of the show love him for his oddity. We are at the point where we understand him (in ways that we are often unable to understand the stupidity of a certain Michael Scott). JD lives in a fantasy world, has odd daydreams about almost everything, loves appletinis, needs physical affection from friends and mentors to validate his existence, is often sexually inappropriate, and constantly falls short in the social side of his life, but we love all of that about him! Zach Braff makes it not only acceptable but endearing. And it is the same way with all the characters on the show.

Also, the story line centers around a work space that we all have some sort of familiarity with. It helps us in accepting the shortcomings of the places we know so well by allowing us to laugh at their expense. They somehow become less scary, though the danger and fear remains.

Finally, every storyline wraps itself up nicely. Despite having us laugh for a half hour straight, when time is up we have learned something. Whether it's that "there are more important things in life" or that "everything will be OK," we can take comfort in the lessons we come away with when we turn the TV off.

Despite all this, Scrubs does not fall short in any aspect whatsoever. Where The Office lacks a degree of cohesion between the episodes, Scrubs does not. The patients that live keep living and the stories surrounding them continue. The ones that are treated or pass on do so, and we take what we can from their situations and move forward. The relations between the doctors evolve, the running jokes don't lose their steam, and problems aren't always resolved in an episode or two. I know that the Jim and Pam saga has its development and setbacks and from time to time a solution, but barring Michael Scott's ever worsening idiocy, their relationship is really the only thing on the show that is not stagnant.

What's more, the characters we watch week in and week out (well the main ones, save The Janitor, The Todd, and Ted) are not necessarily fatally flawed in ways that cannot be ignored or forgiven. They often do what they can to earn our affection and admiration, even at their lowest points.

Those are my two major points: episode cohesion (and even season cohesion) and character respect. Even though he's a nerd, you want to be JD. He's a doctor. He has great friends. He seems to laugh a lot and love a lot, despite being hurt sometimes. He saves lives. The same is true for almost every character, even if they're overly feminine, overly macho, overly insecure, overly over-bearing, overly cynical, or overly anything. They still have those always redeemable base qualities. Jim Halpert, arguably the most admiration-worthy character on The Office, doesn't have that. Yes, he laughs in a crappy environment and has found love there, but do you really want to be him? Trapped in that office of hilarious nimrods? I for one would prefer to be JD. And maybe that's why I prefer to watch him.

So really what I'm asking for is improvement from The Office. I've said it before and I'll say it again: it's a great show. But it could be better, and all would be happier if it were. And there are two ways to do that. The first is to improve the cohesion between episodes. I keep thinking back to the stupid office picnic episode and barring the wonderful news at the end, can you tell me one thing that happened? Michael sees Holly, but nothing develops. Another branch closes, but it doesn't affect anyone from the viewers perspective. Basically, hilarious things go on over the course of the day and that's it. We see the characters in a new setting and see how they handle it. Yes, it's novel for the show, but not for the fans. We want things to happen! If you had missed the entire episode save for the last thirty seconds, would you really need to go back to "catch up?" I think not, and I think that's something we want in our shows.

And as for character respect (kind of an awful phrase for what I mean, but gimme a break), I think there are ways for The Office to improve that. There are certainly glimpses, like in the episode where Pam's parents get divorced, but please let me know if there has been any sizable personal growth that I have missed in the following flat-as-a-pancake characters: Andy, Dwight, Kevin, Oscar, Kelly, Michael, Ryan, Angela, Stanley, Phyllis, Creed, Toby. From day one to day now, has ANYTHING CHANGED FOR THEM? Maybe that's part of the humor for some of the characters, and that's fine, but all of them?! That's 90% of the show and I need to be OK with the fact that there is nothing new happening with any of them?! I demand more, and I think you can deliver, Office writers. I know you can.

I understand that I've tried to explain the shortcomings of The Office and the lack of any in Scrubs in this post, but it hasn't been easy. If I've fallen short, I hope the episodes will fill the gaps. I don't think I need to panhandle on The Office's behalf for viewership, but PLEASE WATCH SCRUBS! If you have, tell more people to watch. If you haven't, DO IT! Go to here and start with season 1 episode 1. And run with it. I don't think you'll find a better show to laugh at, learn from, or enjoy in your spare time.

Trust me. It's just what The Doctor ordered.

The Doctor

PS - Doctor Perry Cox. Nothing in the entertainment industry can even compare to the rants he makes so often on the show. They just never get old for me. He alone could tip the scales in favor of Scrubs, but thankfully there is an amazing show to go with him. Go watch.

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Friday, June 12, 2009

Cornell, I Feel Your Pain

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In true Quint Kessenich form, I'll try to make lacrosse intelligible by comparing it to a mainstream American sport. Anyone who watched Superbowl XLII (NY Giants 17 NE Patriots 14) can probably understand how the Cornell men's lacrosse team felt after losing to Syracuse 10-9 in overtime in the national championship. The roles of underdog and favorite in the two games may have been reversed, but the improbability of the game-saving plays was eerily similar. After trailing 9-6 with five minutes to go, Syracuse rallied and scored the game-tying goal with four seconds left on a spectacular/fucking absurd play (depending on who you were rooting for).









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Monday, June 8, 2009

Politics, why bother?

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I'm a Bostonian born and raised, but unlike most from my state I am a diehard conservative. It brings me so much joy to see Sal Dimasi go down in flames along with the past 3 speakers of the house for MA. On the national level you have completely incompetent people like Barney Frank attempting to get as much media coverage with his persecution of those he deemed "responsible" for the financial collapse when he attacked Edward Libby. And on the international level you have the joke that is the English parliament. Not only did Gordon Brown's party, the labour party, lose their elections last week but they fell from first to worst.

Politicians are a joke. Never are they acting in the best interest of our society. They are always trying to appeal to the mob in order to secure reelection. They will take whatever money they need to fatten their state's wallet (bridge to nowhere) and their own wallets (British elected officials writing off having their moats cleaned as an expense).

Sadly enough though this effects all parties and all countries throughout the world. The big they are, the more money they have to spend, the more falls through the cracks and the less of it we see actually helping where it’s needed. Give States their power back, force term limits on all public officials and for the love of god give us a reason to vote.

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Saturday, June 6, 2009

My Year In Television

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So it's been about a year since I've been writing as close to full time as a NYC internship would allow. And I'm back. But I've been over that with you already (Comeback? Bigfoot? Blurriness? Britney!? Yeah, you remember). Now we're on to actual content. The cutting edge stuff that made this blog what it still hasn't been. And for myself, my greatest contributions came in terms of television. When you come to me saying, "Doctor, I've been having symptoms of showlessness. What can you do for me?" Or, "Doctor, I needed a second opinion on what went down in [enter fantastic series here] the other day. Can you help me?" With questions like that, you've come to the right place. Jump it.

Thanks for jumping. Anyway, as I was saying, I am your man when it comes to television. Why is this? Well there are a number of reasons. First of all, I have way too much time on my hands, and keep up with a lot of television shows as a result. In addition, when I am caught up with my repertoire of shows, I don't just relax and play video games or drink my face off (OK, I do that, you're right). No. Instead, I find other shows to ADD to my lists, to try out and then dedicate myself to. I've done this a lot over the year, and the list of shows that I am dedicated to has grown substantially. In order of the first ones that pop into my head, my list now includes but is not limited to:
Lost
Heroes
The Office
Kings
Breaking Bad
Scrubs
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Glee
Trust Me
My Name is Earl
Burn Notice
Monk
and even no longer new shows (especially that aired between classes last semester) like:
Just Shoot Me
Home Improvement
Scrubs
Seinfeld
and many others

I don't really know where to go from here, but I'm going somewhere. I'll probably begin with focusing on some of my top shows (Lost, Heroes, The Office, Breaking Bad), detailing the emotional roller coaster ride they have taken me on since we last talked.

Maybe we'll start sort of light to round out this article: The Office.

A great show, some cutting edge humor, and lots of imitation being attempted around television. But nothing does it for me quite like The Office. As any habitual (or casual) watcher of the show knows, though there is humor in some of the running jokes or character relations, the greatest part of the show is the daily interaction between the employees, the monotonous hilarity that is their lives. And that has not suffered too greatly this season. The comedy was still very tight, interactions were kept hilarious (see Charles and Jim's relationship or Angela and Kelley competing for Charles's attention for examples), and from what I've seen I don't think they should be losing any fans.

However, that is not to say they are doing perfectly. Fans are happy, but they are not elated. And I say this for one reason: the overarching storyline used to have some real direction and continuity behind it, mostly led by the Jim and Pam storyline, but also with Michael's love life and the rise and fall of Ryan.

This season (5), a lot of that was missing. Yes, they had a fine story arc set up with Michael's quitting and his starting of a new paper company. However, they came full circle in the end, and I was left feeling like my time was wasted and other stuff should have been happening in The Office universe. Also, how many of the shows were simply one and done story lines that had to be explained in the beginning and were resolved by the end with little to know actual plot development having occurred by the episode's end? All I know is that it seemed like there were too many for me.

Despite anything bad I have to say about the show, it's one of the most hilarious on television and should be watched religiously by all. You're missing out if you haven't been. And finally, with the Pam pregnant cliff-hanger at the end, a lot of interesting things should go on next season without a doubt.

Rx: Watch the show like your life depends on it.
Consequence for not obeying: Death by crushing.

Signed,
Doze-Daddy

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Do I Know You From Somewhere?

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So it's been a while. I know that. We all do. But here at Bigfoot is Blurry, we believe in comebacks. We believed in Jordan when he came back after dabbling in an intergalactic basketball game to the prevent the enslavement of Bugs Bunny and friends (or we just believed he should quit the bull crap and stop making awful movies). We believed in Favre when he quit then came back then quit now is thinking of coming back (or we loathed him for bothering us the entire time. And for the record, I'm betting he does come back much to the disappointment of SoBDD). We believed in the Sox's miracle comeback when they were down 3-0 in that magical ALCS (I have refused to watch baseball ever since). So clearly we're strong believers in comebacks and big fans of those that attempt them...

Sorry, but we sort of had to go with Britney at some point. C'mon. We had to. Right? Thanks for understanding. Anyway...

OK, well maybe we don't believe in comebacks. And maybe we don't particularly love the individuals or teams that do comeback (or try to). That being said, we're rooting for ourselves. Maybe that sounds ridiculous, but given our nonexistent fan base, our preoccupations that keep us from our blogging dreams, and our graduation from the esteemed Reston College into a world of limited jobs and endless days on the couch, someone's got to root for us. Why not let it be us?

And thus it shall be. We will root for ourselves. And those of us that have way too much time on their hands will come back and will come back in a big way. In a Bigfoot way, even. Because the world just wouldn't be the same if anything happened to Bigfoot's famed blurriness. Whether he was discovered once and for all or just faded away and no one ever talked about him anymore, neither would be good for the world.

The same goes for BIBTTP. No, we may never make it; we may never be "discovered" by the world. But neither can we simply fade away and end our blogging, end our relationship with our tens of fans (that we threaten and force to visit the site). Nay. The world needs us just as we were: blurry as hell. And now that we have some more time on our hands, that's what we intend to give you: some really blurry Bigfootedness.

Come back soon. I know I will.

Rx: A whole lot of clicking around this beautiful blog once a day for the rest of your natural born (or artificially inseminated) lives.

Your Doctor,
Dozer

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