Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Weekly Draft 4: All-Time All-Basketball Selection-Off

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With the 08-09 NBA season beginning this week, Sons of Big Daddy Drew and I started talking hoop. We decided to each draft a team picking from the greatest basketball players of all time. When making our picks we weighted each player’s professional career more than their college performance and we weighted NBA seasons more strongly than any other professional experience. Our rosters consist of five starters and three subs. We limited subs to players that have never won a championship or never been the star player on a championship team.After the draft, we used whatifsports.com to simulate a seven game series between our two teams. When creating a dream team on whatifsports you pick a specific season that a player played. For instance, if you draft Michael Jordan, you have to decide whether to add 93-94 Jordan, 97-98 Jordan, or any other season he played. Whatifsports places a dollar value on each season a player has played, to represent his value. In general, I assembled the teams based on each player’s highest rated season according to whatifsports. However for players that won an MVP award, I selected their highest rated season in which they won the award. The most significant impact this had was on Wilt Chamberlain – he did not win MVP in the 61-62 season in which he averaged 50 points and 25 rebounds per game. The other exception in addition to the MVPs was Julius Erving, whose top rated seasons were played with ABA teams the New York Nets and Virginia Squires. Whatifsports requires you to have a full 12 man roster so we used 00-01 Tyronn Lue, 00-01 Tariq Abdul-Wahad, 05-06 Lonny Baxter, and 04-05 Vitaly Potapenko to fill out both our rosters so they would have no effect on the outcome the games.

Sons of Big Daddy Drew picked first in a straight (alternating rather than serpentine) draft. SoBDD named his team the Duke Street Kings (picks are in red) and JuicyJuice named his team Walter’s Warriors. Here’s how it all went down.

The Draft







Draft Analysis

• Interestingly, the two players with the most points in NBA history, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Karl Malone, were not selected in the draft.

• The dollar values of the two teams according to whatifsports:
o Walter’s Warriors - $69,555,850
o Duke Street Kings - $71,641,298

• 7 of the first 10 players selected played for either the Celtics or the Lakers.

• Tim Duncan and Allen Iverson were the only two players selected that are still playing today. Duncan is really the only player that should be considered in the “all-time greatest…” club as Iverson was selected as a sub.

• Bill Simmons’ “42.4 Club” can be used to point out a number of notable exclusions from our draft. This club is “for stars who averaged at least 42 per playoff game in combined points, rebounds.” Only 4 of the 16 players in the 42.4 Club were selected in the BIBTTP draft: Michael Jordan (8x), Larry Bird (4), Magic Johnson (2), Allen Iverson (2). Simmons club only includes season since the ABA-NBA merger in 1976, which explains why so many of our players are not part of this club. Of the twelve players in the club not selected but were legitimate candidates are: Shaquille O’Neal (4), Moses Malone (4), Kobe Bryant (3), Charles Barkley (3), and Karl Malone (3).

• If JJ were to re-do the draft, he probably would have altered his strategy slightly. JJ selected as though it was a real league in which many teams were drafting. All it really was though was SoBDD and JJ picking the two greatest players (in our opinions) at each position. So, the first five picks of the draft should all be different positions, presumably the best player at each position. There was no reason for JJ to take Chamberlain with the second pick because SoBDD certainly wasn’t going to take him after nabbing Russell. Despite how limited in scope this draft was, it provided for some interesting twists and turns. This draft is worthwhile however because if it were repeated a number of times by different people, I think you would get some real variation in the draft order and composition of the teams.


Draft Commentary

Sons of Big Daddy Drew: Okay. With the first pick in the All-Time All-Basketball Selection-Off I choose:

Winner of 2 national collegiate championships,
Winner of an Olympic gold medal,
Winner of 11 NBA championships,
A 12 time all star,
Elected NBA MVP 5 times,
Member of the NBA's 25th, 35th, and 50th anniversary teams,
Named "Athlete of the Decade" by the Sporting News for the 1960's,
Named "Greatest Player in the History of the Game" by the PBWAA in 1980,
Possessor of a 22-0 record in elimination games (that is, single elimination games, game 5 of a 5 game series and game 7 of a seven game series) across the collegiate, olympic, and professional levels,
The first black head coach in North American sports,
The toughest competitor, hardest worker, and greatest basketball mind the game has ever seen,

Bill Russell.

JuicyJuice: With the second pick, I select Wilt Chamberlain. Simple put, Chamberlain is the most dominant player to ever play the game. 7-1 250 lbs as a rookie, Chamberlain eventually bulked up to 300 lbs when he played with the Lakers. Chamberlain has a list of impressive accomplishments of his own: he is the only player to ever average more than 40 and more than 50 points in a season; only player to score 100 points in a game; he won seven scoring, nine field goal percentage, and eleven rebounding titles, and once even led the league in assists; he won two NBA titles, earned four regular-season MVPs, one Finals MVP, and was selected to 13 All-star and ten All-NBA First and Second teams. Over his fourteen seasons in the NBA, Wilt averaged 30 ppg, 22 rebounds, and 4.4 assists.

But the awards and stats don't measure how dominant Chamberlain actually was. Chamberlain was such an unstoppable force that his play forced the NBA to change the rules of the game. These rule changes included widening the lane and instituting offensive goaltending. You may think that old Dr. Naismith decided that players are not allowed to cross the free throw line when shooting a free throw. But you'd be wrong. The NBA instituted that rule because Chamberlain would leap from behind the line and throw down every one of his free throws! Leap from behind the line and throw it down! FROM BEHIND THE LINE!

Despite your first pick’s offensive ineptitude, I really can't say too much bad about him.

SoBDD: Wilt Chamberlain as "the most dominant player to ever play the game"? I guess Wilt has never met Bill Russell. Oh wait, he did. Eight times in the playoffs, in fact. Chamberlain's record in those series? 1-7. Sure, Wilt dominated with the ladies--20,000 according to him--but if he were so great on the hardcourt, why did Russell's teams consistently wipe the floor with him? Chamberlain was, to be certain, a giant presence, and his impact on the game is undeniable. He was also a giant douchenozzle. Teams generally don't decide to give away great players for the hell of it, and yet was traded twice in his career because no one could stand the bastard. And how dare you use Chamberlain leading the league in assists as evidence of his greatness? The reason he led the league in assists was not because it was the best for his team--it was because he didn't want to be considered selfish, and he figured the best way to show how unselfish he was to pass the ball all the time. Look, the man was on the great scorers ever--your rundown of his accomplishments showed that. And for such a great scorer to decline to shoot to prove a point-- to the detriment of the team--is about the most selfish thing anyone could do. (Is there a 'Kobe Bryant' in the audience? Hell, there's no one in the audience.) Listen, Chamberlain was a very good player, there's no denying that. But the goal here is to have a great team, and to put Wilt at the center, well, you're going to fall short.

Instead, give me Michael Jordan... As his NBA.com biography states, "By acclamation, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time." He scored more points per game than Chamberlain, and he did it in an era when scoring was down and physicality was up. He led his team to the best single-season record of all time, and he won six championships. His five MVP awards and 10 scoring titles lend evidence to his individual greatness, as do his nine selections to the All-NBA defensive team. Think about it: the best scorer in the league 10 times, he was one of the five best defenders another nine times! ESPN named Jordan the greatest athlete of the 20th Century, and he's sold millions more shoes than anyone in history. And really, isn't that what it's all about?
Your pick, m'liege.

JJ: NBA.com and ESPN can suck my dick. Fuck Michael Jordan, I would have selected myself for this team before I took him.

I select Larry Bird. For many basketball purists, Larry Legend was the consummate basketball player: skilled in every facet of the game, played with hustle, had a tireless work ethic, and was the ultimate team player. His singular impact on a team is rivaled only by Tim Duncan’s, as Bird led the Celtics to what was at the time, the greatest single season record turn around in NBA history. Bird would win three championships with the Celtics and is the only player to win three consecutive league MVPs other than the first two picks in the draft. Bird was a 12 time all star and 9 time 1st team all-NBA selection, and his career statistics reflect how well rounded his game was (24-10-6). A three time selection to the NBA all-defense second team, Bird was no slouch on defense either. Maybe the most amazing statistic Bird owns is his career .496 shooting percentage which is just absurd for a non-post player. The legend of Larry Bird grew through epic clutch performances and plays and spectacular shooting expositions (once told a player how he was going to score after the ball was inbounded to him and proceeded to score the game winning basket in exactly that manner). Bird was everything you wouldn’t expect an unathletic white boy from French Lick, Indiana to be.

JJ: I select Bob Pettit. Although Pettit does not have the Q rating of Russell or Chamberlain, he was without a doubt the third most dominant post player of that era. Pettit played 11 seasons with the Milwaukee/ St. Louis Hawks after being a two time All-American at LSU. Pettit has the third highest rebounds/game average behind Russell and Chamberlain and the seventh highest scoring average ever (26-16). Pettit won two MVP awards and his only championship ring came at the expense of the Boston Celtics (Pettit poured in 50 points to seal a game 6, series-clinching, victory). Pettit's Hawks surely would have captured multiple titles had it not beenfor Red Auerbach's Celtics dynasty, who the Hawks lost to a number of times in the Finals. In his finest season, Pettit averaged 31-18. Pettit is generally credited with revolutionizing the power forward position, as he was the first dominant offensive player at his position. He will surely continue to dominate alongside his front court partner, the most dominant center to ever play the game.

JJ: I select Jerry West, yuh boi, Zeke from Cabin Creek. Yes, I know West led theLakers to the NBA Finals 9 times, all against the Celtics, and only won one once. But West is an icon, literally: the NBA logo? Yea, that's West dribbling the ball with his left hand. Mr. Clutch was a sharp-shooting guard that was as pure as they come. He averaged over 40 ppg over 11 games one post season and finished with career averages of 27-7 assists-6 reb. West also wore #44 which is sweet.

SoBDD: Fuck! The reason I took Hondo is because I figured I could still get West in the sixth, while there'd be no way you'd pass on Havlicek. What a stupid I am.

SoBDD
: With my sixth pick, I'm going with a man who didn't just dominate basketball: he revolutionized it. The NBA of the 1960's was a game built on defense and rebounding, a game dominated by Bill Russell's great Celtics teams. But the next decade saw myriad changes, and chief among them was the newfound competition that the ABA provided. The ABA, with its colorful ball and three-point line, ushered in a new era, one built on excitement and theatrics. And the most colorful personality, the one who scored the most points, and the most exciting and theatrical was the man himself: Doctor Julius Erving.


JJ: I select: Scottie Pippen

DE - FENCE!! DE - FENCE!! DE - FENCE!!

JJ: With my 7th pick, I select Nate Thurmond. Every team needs a banger, and no one was better at banging than Nate the Great (other than Wilt the Stilt off the court obviously). Thurmond was the first player to ever record a quadruple double and averaged over 20 ppg and 20 boards pg one season. His career avgs are 15 pts and 15 boards pg. Thurmond was just a bad dude that intimidated the shit out of great centers like Russell, Chamberlain, and Kareem. He was also probably the greatest player (along with Rick Barry) to wear arguably the greatest basketball uniform of all time.












The Series

For our home arenas Sons of Big Daddy Drew chose the Boston Garden and JuicyJuice chose the Great Western Forum. Iverson was the primary sub for Walter’s Warriors and Havlicek played almost as many minutes as any other starter for the Duke Street Kings.
After dropping the first two games on the road, Walter’s Warriors adjusted the lineup slightly, giving more playing time to Chamberlain and Bird. This helped the Warriors to a game three win but the Kings stole game four at the Forum behind a strong performance by Kevin McHale odd the bench, putting JuciyJuice’s team in a 3-1 hole. Back on the road, and with their backs against the wall, Walter’s Warriors pulled out a game 5 victory. But the Warriors weren’t able to extend the series any further as the Duke Street Kings clinched the series the very next game. Whatifsports awarded the series MVP to Tim Duncan.

Duke Street Kings over Walter’s Warriors - 4-2

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Monday, October 27, 2008

"Kerry Collins Doesn't Suck"

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ESPN.com's Paul Herskey posted an article previewing tonight's Colts-Titans game in which a few Titans talked about QB Kerry Collins. Albert Haynesworth sounded less than enthused with Collins' play thus far for the undefeated Titans. The Titans superstar DT had this to say:


"Peyton [Manning] is still a great quarterback and everyone would love to have him on their team," he said. "What Kerry has come in and done is not made mistakes for us, put us in good situations and let the defense do a lot of the work.

"Peyton has to carry [his] team and Kerry doesn't. He just needs to make plays and not make mistakes, that's all we ask of them ... There is not as much pressure on Kerry as Peyton. He's the face of that franchise. You know here, the face of the franchise is going to be Vince [Young]. So all Kerry has to do is go out there and basically not lose it, which he hasn't. He's played well for us."

By "play[ing] well," it sounds like Haynesworth means, "not sucking." Collins has thrown three touchdown passes in the six games so far and has a passer rating of 74.2. Even Collins himself isn't so sure how well he's playing, as he said, "Maybe my numbers don't jump out, but I think offensively as a whole, we've been fairly productive."



Most people wouldn't expect the offense of the NFL's only remaining undefeated team to be described as "fairly productive." So, are the Titans a group of honest and humble players in a league of egomaniacs? Or is there a little concern in Tennessee that their title hopes hinge on a quarterback that is only not sucking?

(Note: Collins' stat line vs. Colts in the first half tonight: 11/18 for 74 yards, 0 TDs, 0 INTs = not sucking!)

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Monday, September 15, 2008

The Psyche of Fantasy Football

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So I was sitting in my philosophy class at Reston today, thinking about fantasy football as I usually do. Only this time my I was actually thinking about fantasy football in relation to the topic of the class that day, the philosophy of making choices. We read an article by psychologist Barry Schwartz called the “The Tyranny of Choice,” in which he presents research showing that “increased choice and increased affluence have...been accompanied by decreased well-being in the U.S. and most other affluent societies.” His basic hypothesis is that some choice is better than none but too much choice can decrease happiness.

This struck me as the answer that I’ve been looking for

to the question of: why does fantasy football always leave me with an empty, unfulfilled feeling in my stomach? And no, the answer is not because I never win. I’ve won multiple leagues in the past and have a successful track recorded. Schwartz’s article made me realize, fantasy football is a game of choice. It’s not a game of choice and chance the way Yahtzee is because there is certainly some skill and knowledge required to successfully predict the performance of players. But fantasy football is also not like real sports in which you not only have to make decisions, (do I pass the basketball or shoot it?) but you have properly execute the play.
Fantasy football is fundamentally about making choices. From the beginning, you have to decide on a draft strategy (should I take a pair of top RBs in the first to rounds or a stud WR and QB?). During every round of the draft you are comparing players and have to decide between a few players which you’ll pick (do I take Reggie Williams or Reggie Brown in the 8th round?). Once the season has started, your job as manager is to pick which players on your roster to start and which to bench each week. In a tricked out league like the cash league I play in, the decisions that must be made are endless. How many points should I wager to pick up so-and-so off the waiver wire? Which players that I drafted after the 7th round should I keep on my team for next year? Hell, we even have a draft to pick which draft position each owner will pick their team from!

According to Schwartz, all of these choices do not make for a happy group of 10-12 nerdy football-crazed guys. Schwartz says that each choice we make carries with it opportunity cost, the potential for regret, and a phenomenon called adaptation (enthusiasm about positive experiences does not sustain itself). In fantasy football terms he means: “Fuck, I took Marshawn Lynch in the 2nd round and now I’m not going to get an elite receiver.” “Fuck, I can’t believe I took Steven Jackson in the first round.” “Fuck, my team is good but not as good as it should be after I spent two months researching to draft this team!” No matter how successful you are, you’re going to make incorrect decisions every week that are disappointing. For instance, my friend’s team was the highest scoring team in the league in week one, but he didn’t start Michael Turner, the highest scoring fantasy performer of week one. The key point of Schwartz’s theory is that the bad feelings from wrong choices outweigh and outlast the good feelings of correct choices. More choices to make, more times you want to punch yourself in the face.

So why do we play? Well, because fantasy football is really fun. The thrill of pretending that you’re a GM for an NFL team is fun. And making choices that are correct (all of you who drafted Eddie Royal) is really fun. Playing fantasy football enhances my experience as a fan and I am not going to stop playing. But if you’re like me, and sometimes wonder where that disappointed/frustrated feeling is coming from during fantasy football season, well, now you know.

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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Am I A Fantasy Football Legend? Maybe...

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The NFL regular season is finally upon us. Rejoice! Sing for the heavens! Turdurkens for everyone! (Note: the pic is the first google image search result for "fantasy football")

In addition to all of this, it's a time for betting and of fantasy football. And I am amazing when it comes to that. Don't believe me? Read on.

Well, obviously SoBDD and myself are avid fantasy football fans. We're in two leagues together. My record in those 2 leagues? 2-0. His? 0-2. Conincidence? Probably. Hilarious? Undoubtedly.

Taking a look at the rosters of my three major teams, I just want to point out that I was smart enough to start Chris Johnson, smart enough to draft Eddie Royal in a spot where he is worth a 14th round pick next year, and dumb enough to sit both he and Michael Turner this week. All in all, I'm 4-0 as an owner. Not too shabby at all.

In addition to my fantasy football prowess thus far, I've also shown some ability as a bettor. SoBDD dragged me into a competition over at one of his favorite blogs (VEGASWATCH.NET) where you have to take the over/under on the Vegas line for wins for an NFL team from each division. You can navigate around vegaswatch for my picks (or just spend some time reading as it's a fantastic blog). You'll also notice at the bottom of the linked article that the individual in first place is... YA BOI, DOCTOR DOZER! This may not last, so celebrations are definitely in order. See you never.

Signed,
The Doctor

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Thursday, September 4, 2008

Weekly Draft 3: Classes Every Student at Reston Should Take

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Because our first category was "Superheroes we'd like to see star in their own movie", and we figured that wasn't nerdy enough, we decided to follow it up with "Classes at Reston every student should take." As upperclassmen as Reston University (Motto: "Sede En Me Vulta") we figured it was our duty to tell the freshmen and the ill-prepared about some of the great classes that await them at our fine institution of higher learning. And so the third contributor draft begins... now.

Well, not quite now, persay, because first, a moment of clarification. Because theShow and Torshin, for all their wonderful qualities, do not attend Reston, we're going to be a bit short-handed. Order is SoBDD, Doctor Dozer, blogsquatch, JuicyJuice. Four men, two rounds, eight picks. Andnowwestart.

Sons of Big Daddy Drew: Introduction to the Law.

Cliche? Sue me. Or better yet, take this class, then sue me. Taught by Reston legend Houston Taras, Social Org covers nearly every important Supreme Court case of the last 100 years. This class gives prospective Poli Sci and Pre-Law majors a solid foundation in understanding the law, its interpretation, and its failures. The reading load is heavy, and Taras is a master at exposing your ignorance on that one day you didn't do it, but ithe knowledge gained makes it well worth it. From the fittingly-named Loving v. Virginia to the strange case of Riss v. City of New York to poor, poor Ceballos, these are some of the most interesting, enlightening, and relevant cases that've ever sat on the SCOTUS docket.

Doctor Dozer: Introduction to Geology.

I'll admit my skepticism when first signing up for the course at the recommendation of my hippie-scum adviser, but I actually enjoyed the hell out of it. Let's face it: we all need to pad our GPAs every once in a while, so why not get a few outdoor field trips and a little bit of knowledge out of it? And if you're afraid of actual science, why not take a fake one? Over the course of a semester, I did in fact learn a bit, and I never studied, let alone opened a book. I had a box of rocks (really minerals) in my room, and the girls always love that. And at the end of the day, your professor is guaranteed to be a fun-to-talk-to grass-smoking granola who doesn't have the heart to give you less than an A-. Dinosaurs. Oil. Hawaii. Yup, all the cool things, kids.

SOBDD-I've heard of Rocks for Jocks, but now they've got Rocks for Kids Who Suck Cocks? What's next? Rock for Box? (Dozer's motha) Rocks for Fox? (Bloqsquatch's motha) Rocks for people who like to trade stocks? (Gary) Rocks for lovers of smallpox? (Jeff)

Blogsquatch: Vampires.

Yes such a class does exist at Reston. When first finding out about it, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of learning, reading, watching, and writing about vampires for an entire semester. Surely such a class would attract the most interesting group of people. You know the type: dark shades of eye-liner, long straight jet-black hair, crooked and off-centered designs on t-shirt that look like they belong in the artwork for a Rob Zombie album/movie instead of on people's...well not really chest, more like shoulder-back-side-pectoral area. Very Docter Dozer-ish. But to tell you the truth, the class actually....was everything I expected, but not really. Not too many crazy-clothes wearing fellers in the class, but you definitely get a different feel for the good-ol' vampire. You almost learn to love the poor misunderstood, creature of the night. Where else can you be assigned to watch a variety films where you have elements including but not limited to action, plenty of exaggerated and hilariously funny gore, Salma Hayek dancing 85% naked before she turns into a horrifying creature that actually reminds me of one of my english teachers from back in the day (of course you wouldn't know them), or even cartoon vampires from Cuba who are incredibly thristy for blood and unsatisfyingly horny as well (does that even make sense, Doctor Dozer knows more about that than any of us do so we'll ask him later about that). Anyway, the professor may strike students as a bit free-spirited and chique, and he is defintely a cool guy, but he certainly adds an extra value to a class that already is very much under-rated and over-looked by much of the student body.

SOBDD-The vampires weren't the only thing in that class that sucked! Hoo Boy! Burned! Oh yeaaaaaah! Gotcha blogsquatch!

JuicyJuice: Biological Psychology.

This class is definitely the closest I will ever come to taking a real science course (a step above Geo, which I also took). I was considering being a psych major at the time but I also took this class because I was genuinely interested. Bio-psych is a great course for anyone who has ever wondered how the brain works and why the human body does some of the things it does. Each week you cover a new topic including topics such as how the brain controls eating, drinking, sleeping, sex, memory, and language and basic sensory and motor functions. Pretty cool stuff, not to mention you sound really smart when you can talk about things like how a ligand-gated ion channel works and what the hypothalamus does (I would list more things but I have obviously forgotten most of the cool and useless information that I learned). Despite totally misrepresenting himself in a picture on the "psych professor wall”, Professor Beard was a cool nerd that was sometimes funny and usually interesting to listen to. The class does live up to its slightly intimidating name though as almost every paper and test is a bitch. But I think most students’ GPA survive this class just fine. I enjoyed this class so much that I considered taking a neuroscience class and I signed up for Psycho-Pharmacology, which I promptly dropped after realizing that I remembered none of the little chemistry that is required.

JuicyJuice: World Politics (That's the 4th thing to come up when you google image search world politics, I swear.

If there is one political science class to take at Reston, this is it. I say that because this is the only intro course that provides students with a basic understanding of the important ideas in political philosophy and of today’s important political issues. Topics include – the dynamics of great power politics, the changing role of state sovereignty, international civil society, international legal institutions, and the United States’ relationship with the EU, China, India, Russia, the Middle East, and Latin America. The most valuable part of this course for me was that its emphasis on geopolitics forced me to learn geography. I am very grateful that I now know that the difference between the Balkans and the Baltic states and that I can now name and locate more than one country in Africa on a map. Professor Mancala doesn’t even attempt to hide his radically liberal views on every topic but it honestly doesn’t detract from the course because the readings are a fair representation of the spectrum of political views. I can also guarantee that over the course of the twelve week semester, Mancala absolutely will not learn your name. Despite his flaws, Mancala and his accent are funny to listen to and he shows some cool clips that waste class time.

Blogsquatch: India in Film

What you get from this course will more than likely serve you no purpose after you graduate. Many consider it to be a joke class, and a g.p.a. booster. Yes, it proves to be a relatively simple course that you can take to help boost your grades, but its actually an incredibly entertaining and fun course. The movies, all Bollywood films, are incredibly awkward and different at first, but after giving it a chance, the common storylines, spontaneous dance routines, and the catchy music will eventually grow on you, and you'll end up enjoying class far more than you ever thought you would.

Doctor Dozer: Writing Poetry

With his second pick, you might think Doctor Dozer would pick a biology related course, or maybe organic chemistry, given his affinity for the body and doing doctoral things to it. However, you'd be wrong. The Doctor chooses Writing Poetry. Taking a creative writing course should be important to everyone. Never again in your life will complete strangers be forced to listen to your ideas and smile politely, so you might as well take advantage. With poetry in particular, though, not only are you expressing yourself creatively, you're also finding things out about yourself that you never knew before. Once you finish your first 4 poems about how light and fluffy the world is or how that bird is singing outside your window on a Sunday morning after brunch with white pants and linen shirts, using your little rhyme schemes and meter and witticisms, there's nothing left to do but dig inside yourself and see what's really there. You simply have nothing else to write about. The ideas that pop into your head when you're struggling for a topic are mostly frightening, but don't shy away from them. That's who you are deep down. Learn to embrace it, express it, and shock people with your honesty. No other class gives you the opportunity to "Fight Off Your Demons" like Writing Poetry. Be careful, thought, because you might just find out who you are and where you came from.

Sons of Big Daddy Drew: Introduction to Economics

Want to understand the relationship between supply and demand? Want to know why the Fed raises interest rates? Want to know what the Fed is? Want to know what interest rates are? Want to know why the summer gas tax holiday (endorsed by Hillary Clinton and John McCain) is a pointless idea? Want to know why this is such a stupid facebook group? Want to learn about Supply-Side Economics, Reaganomics, the Trickle-Down Effect, and VooDoo Economics? Want to know what William Jennings Bryant's "Cross of Gold" speech, widely considered one of the greatest orations in American history, was actually saying? Want to know, once and for certain, that Ron Paul is a crazy person? Want to know what that weird dude Russell Crowe played in "A Beautiful Mind" was all about? Want to know why your father got laid off from work? Take Introduction to Economics. (Oh, and your father got laid off because he's a lazy, drug-addled man-child who hasn't worked a productive day in his life.)

What are your own recommendations for classes, either at Reston or elsewhere? Great topics, great professors, great pictures? Yours in the comments...

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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Brad Childress: Who I Really Am and The Future of my NFL Career

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Dear Zygi Wilf and the Minnesota Vikings Organization,

In light of recent events and the buildup of endless guilt for the lies that have surrounded my life in my years as a football coach, I write you this letter to inform you of my resignation. The primary reason for this is that I am, in truth, not the person you thought I was. I am not a football coach. I am not Brad Childress. I am...

Tobias Fünke. I know this may come as a shock to you, the players, and the fans, but it is the first bit of truth I have told since I began my open relationship with my wife, Lindsay Bluth Fünke. It has been a long road getting to this point, so before I explain my reasons for leaving the organization, let me explain how I came to be here.

In the summer after our open relationship began, I rededicated myself to what I knew was my calling: acting. I knew that, with the help of the famous Carl Weathers (who owes me a quarter million dollars despite his massive weekly fee of $10,000), I could make it as an actor. I could take on a role that no one had ever thought possible. I could even take on roles outside of fictitious productions and screenplays. I could do it in every way (which is incidentally what my piano tutor used to tell me as he stroked my balding head with his hairy bear hands), and I could do it in real life, too.

So that's what I set out to do: something unbelievably believable. Carl and I were driving along in out Volkswagen Beetle to Vernon, British Colombia in Canada for the taping of "Making the Cut," a reality hockey series in need of a hockey coach actor. It sounded as real as I could imagine. Think about it for a second: reality. What could be realer than this reality business? If I could do this, then I'd have everyone fooled.

On the drive, however, we broke down just outside of Minneapolis, Minnesota. Instead of selling my mouth to lonely truckers so that Carl and I could make it the rest of the way, we decided to find something real to do in Minneapolis. It was a Sunday in late December of 2005, and a number of individuals wearing purple tights, pointed metal helmets and manly beards exited a bar just ahead of Carl. As I admired their garb, I asked them what had gotten them to such a frothy and excited state. After much ado about some game with an oblong ball that Carl seemed to know quite a bit about, we discovered that the Vikings organization was in need of a coach. A real live COACH! This was the same role that I had been headed to Canada for, but this was so much closer. All we needed now was to convince a man named Zygi that I was the one for the job.

So Carl and I fabricated a resume about coaching quarterbacks and some such nonsense that landed me an interview with Zygi himself. Although the interview didn't go so well at first, the conversation turned somehow to all the men that would be in the showers, and somehow during this discussion, I discovered that Zygi was a never-nude!

And just like that, I had the job. From psychiatrist to jobless actor to actor playing an NFL Head Coach, I had come full circle. I had made it.

After getting the job, it truly wasn't all too difficult to convince people that I was qualified. I yelled at players and patted their butts. I waited for them to be in between their football and street outfits before addressing them. No one really listened to what I had to say as I eyed their bulges and hairy, muscular chests, dreaming of times when I might work out with them and spot them as they did leg squats.

And somehow this has worked. The Vikings got a man they call Purple Jesus, and fans believe we can actually be a good team this year. Hunky Brett Favre is out of our division, and we may finally do well in the NFC North! But alas, you must go on without me.

The guilt has become too strong. The lie has become too hard to maintain. And I cannot bear to stare at these strapping naked men much longer lest I misbehave in ways that would deem me insane.

So please, Zygi, accept this resignation and know that it comes from a man with a now heavy heart. I'm sorry I wasn't who you thought I was. I'm sorry that I'm not Brad Childress. I can only be the man I'm destined to be, the actor I've worked to be. And that man is...

Tobias Fünke.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

ESPN Finds All These Chinese Names Very Confusing

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You know who Wei Yang is, right? Chinese male gymnast, best in the world, winner of the all-around title and two other medals in Beijing? This guy:



Obviously, he's a great athlete. But he's not so great that he also competed for China in women's badminton doubles. But don't tell that to ESPN. Take a look at his page in their athlete profiles section:



You can see for yourself here.

I'm sure you'll agree that the real story here is the Chinese badminton team getting bounced in the quarterfinals. China has literally 1 billion more people than us, seemingly all of whom are enrolled in state-run sports academies training to play medal-rich sports no one else cares about like badminton, table tennis, and diving. So while Wei Yang the gymnast is a national hero, Wei Yang the badmintoner is a cultural traitor whose actions hurt the feelings of the Chinese people. Nothing five years in a hard labor reeducation camp won't fix.

For the record, the Wei Yang who plays badminton is this person:


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Weekly Prescriptions: 8-24

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Sorry I missed you all last week. We had our fantasy football draft on Sunday so SoBDD was down visiting and much preparation went in to making it a fantastic draft experience. So this week we will resume with your regularly scheduled Weekly Prescriptions. On a side note, I've been taking Pepcid AC because I cannot stop burping. That's my personal daily dose, but yours will be much sweeter after the jump.

1. Beijing Olympics Wrap Up Photos
Not much else to be said about that. Some cool pics of what was a great event. Although our softball team is a joke. Losers.

2. Goddamn Batman
This is how I feel almost all the time. I get urges to call people retards and remind them of my identity while placing a "god damn" in front of it. What an absolute bad ass...

3. Travis Pastrana
I just stumbled upon this and remembered watching it happen a few years ago. What an awesome stunt. Balls. On my chin.

4. Charles Manson's Epic Answer
I don't know much about Manson, but I know that this video scares me and creeps me the hell out. Holy crap.

5. Statue Pics
You'll get exactly what you're expecting from this site. Statue pictures. And lots of them.

6. Real Robocop
People hate when science fiction has bad science. Well, Robocop's science just got a little more real. Check this walking S.O.B. out. Not too shabby for a cripple.

And that'll do it this week. See you soon.

Your Doctor,
Dozer

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Sunday, August 24, 2008

Photoshop Gone Too Far

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I know magazines like to touch up pictures, especially those of models. But don't you think today's Boston Globe Magazine is a bit excessive?



I mean, where's her left arm?

(Sorry for the small picture; we're working on getting a bigger one.)

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

My Sister Claims All Conservatives Are Old Stupid Rich White Men

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To which I say:



Damn, that's a lot of Old Stupid Rich White Men!

In other news: Are you sick of the Left's "Bush's Last Day" paraphernalia? I know I am. Now you can answer by supplying the answer to the implied question of who will step in after Bush's last day. All proceeds will be donated to John McCain 2008.



You can pick yours up here:

http://www.zazzle.com/mccains_first_day_shirt-235614186218916433

(For some reason, the hyperlink doesn't seem to be working. Should be corrected any minute now. Terribly sorry.)

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Monday, August 11, 2008

WTF Russia

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So I thought I would take a moment and speak about something besides technology today. Late last week violence broke out in the separatist region of Georgia known as South Ossetia. Now for those not familiar with this area the politics and history of it are almost as complicated as those of Israel and Palestine and I don't think I could possibly scratch the surface. What I would like to talk about is the possible future impactions of this. The Russian aggression in this region reeks of pre-1990s Soviet policy. The popularity of Putin and his party have never been greater as he regions Russia to its former greatness. The question that remains how long will the west stand by on the side lines and allow this second coming of the iron curtain to go unopposed. Now while I do not like either candidate in this fall's upcoming election, I do feel that if Obama get elected Russia aggression will continue and it will be unchecked. This is one region of the world that will be interesting to watch as the years go on.

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Michael, Shut the Phelps Up

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I love the Olympics. America flexes its superior muscles, we get to see some sweet sports that are hard to find on cable, and some amazing things happen. Like last night, when the Americans took the men's 4x100 freestyle relay in swimming, beating the French (who had promised victory) by less than a tenth of a second. But some things, such as what went on last night and all day today, make me sick. What, exactly, is that, you ask? Well, find out after the jump.

I hate the excessive amount of coverage that Michael Phelps has gotten since winning his second gold medal. Yes he's our best Olympian and yes he's going for 8 golds in Beijing, but if I see another picture of him flexing his abs on NBC before the Olympics are over, I'll pulverize his svelte pelvis. I mean, one of these images is fine:

But this has been shown every half hour on NBC. I mean, the guy is cute and everything, but show him winning, not standing on the deck cheering...

And this...

I mean, show the guy winning, show him getting the medal, show the frames of our swimmer's hand hitting the wall just before the Frenchie. But please, one more shot of the shirtless hunk and I'll piss vomit.

Think about that: pissing vomit. Yeah, gross.

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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Weekly Prescriptions: 8-10

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Hey folks. Sorry I'm late this week. Happy Olympic Games to everyone! Summer is on its way out, but not before we get a chance to own Red China in the medal count in Beijing. I mean, those bastards are doing their darnedest to steal the count by dominating events where absurd amounts of government-sponsored time and steroids go a long way, but I think the good guys will come out on top (though not by too much). Anyway, here's a few sites to get you from Olympic game to Olympic game.

1. NBC Olympics Online
For those of you that are like me and cannot get enough of the Olympics, here is a site that let's you watch anything you want anytime you want (live when possible). After the opening ceremony aired on Friday night, I found this site and spent a long time watching judo. I don't really get the cool factor behind the wrist grabbing and shirt un-doing, but it was somehow fun to watch. On a different note, all the accessibility that NBC is offering online is really refreshing. Makes me think the internet may last forever.

2. Yahoo! Olympics
Being a medal count junkie, Yahoo!'s main page for Olympics coverage does just that. The other thing it offers, which I have not been able to find elsewhere, is a constantly updated list of recently concluded events and their respective medal winners. I love knowing the name of the guy that came in second in 10 meter air pistol, and this site grants me that knowledge.

3. Chemistry Exam
I'm guessing you may have seen this already, or at least seen things like it, but it's funny. If you haven't seen it yet, you're welcome. It reminds me of my days in eighth grade. I used to dominate the teacher and her tests so hard that, upon finishing early, I would throw my ruler at my classmates. I would also spend time sneaking to the chalkboard to draw a hexagon to represent my alter ego, the Hexagon Bandit. Intelligent jerks are the very best kind.

4. Ledger's Joker Concepts
I think it's pretty clear that the guys around BIBTTP are pretty big Batman fans (at least the re-imagined version with Christian Bale). Well, I dug up this site and found it awesome for a good "what if?" What if they had gone ahead with these early concepts for Heath Ledger as the Joker? I think it would have made the movie less realistic (which I proclaimed was one of its best features). Also, I think it may have taken some of the Heath out of the role. That face looks plastic and stiff, and his facial expressions were amazing. Either way, it's an interesting thing to contemplate.

5. 7 High Profile Basketball Criminal Cases
As a guy that has never had talent in basketball outside of dribbling right-handed and lowering my shoulder as I plow towards the basket, I hate basketball and the people that play it. So of course, when I stumbled upon a page that listed seven of its greatest screw-ups of recent times, I had to let you share my enjoyment. From Kobe to Jayson Williams, from Glen Rice to AI, enjoy their failures with me. And then be jealous of them once again five minutes later.

6. Lobsters
And here is this week's throw away pick. Something absurd for you to chew on. Enjoy your lives for the next seven days, and I'll see you in a week.

The Doctor.

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Saturday, August 9, 2008

UFC 87 - "Seek and Destroy" Tonight!

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Tonight starting at 10 o'clock on PPV is the first major MMA event that has taken place since I have been blogging here on BIBTTP. It is a UFC event, yes finally the best MMA organization out there will put on a great card, live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. UFC 87 - "Seek and Destory" features one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the world in Georges "Rush" St. Pierre (pictured above, at left). He is the current UFC Welterweight Champion of the World and he is taking on number one contender Jon Fitch (pictured above, right), a very impressive fighter who is actually undefeated in UFC competition (8-0). If you still think this sport is two guys with tattoos bashing away at each other with no skill what so ever, then please watch Georges St. Pierre or GSP for short, and see how good of a fighter he is, and I assure you that your views will change. This fight is going to be a very technical one, and the fighter that is able to execute their game plan better will come out on top. This fight is going to be what real MMA is all about.
More previews after the jump...


The card also features a heavyweight match-up between MMA veteran Heath "The Texas Crazy-Horse" Herring and former WWE superstar, Brock Lesnar. Yes I know what you're thinking, how can a fake wrestler be in a serious MMA promotion? I was a little skeptical at first until I remembered that Lesnar was a NCAA Division I National Champion wrestler when he was at the University of Minnesota. He possesses the real physical skills necessary to be a force in the UFC heavyweight division. Even though he lost his first UFC fight back in February, this fight with Herring, although not an easy one, may be the first step he will take to becoming a true MMA practitioner. The fight will most likely be a slug fest with some ground and pound thrown in there. So get ready for some fun.

The third major fight at UFC 87 is a lightweight match-up between Roger "El Matador" Huerta and Kenny "KenFlo" Florian. Both fighters are on winning streaks in the UFC and this is said to be the fight to see who is the number one contender and will eventually take on the Lightweight Champion - B.J. Penn. This fight should be very exciting because both fighters are high-octane, fast-paced guys who like to push the action. Florian likes to finish fights by any means, submission or TKO and Huerta is a relentless mixed martial artist who only has one career lose and is 6-0 in UFC competition. This fight has the makings for "Fight of the Night" status.

Please watch these fights if you can, and if you do not want to pay the 44.95 (which is a ridiculous price) to watch it live on PPV, I completely understand. But you can read live updates right here.
For more information on the entire event, including the full list of fights, check out UFC 87's official site.
Enjoy the fights!
theShow

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Friday, August 8, 2008

Weekly Draft 2: Ολυμπιακοί Αγώνες

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(That's Greek for 'Olympic Games'. But hey, it's all Greek to me, right?)


As you surely know, today, 8/8/08 marks the start of the start of the Games of the XXIX Olympiad, held in Beijing, China. The Olympics are a great opportunity to see sports we don't often get a chance to, so we at BIBTTP figured we'd get in on the act. So now, we say: what Olympic sport would you like to be awesome at?

The order is: Doctor Dozer, Torshin, JuicyJuice, theShow, blogsquatch, SoBDD

Picks (and pics!) after the jump...

Doctor Dozer: Fencing - I think we've already discussed our status as nerds here at BIBTTP. However, I want to confess to you all that I may be the leader of the nerd category around here as I am a devout fan of... Star Wars. I know, I know. But ever since I was little, I just wanted to sword battle someone with a lightsaber, eventually decapitating him with a scissor motion using two blades or chopping off his arm as I tell his our previously secret familial relationship. Well, just as wiffle ball bats and lacrosse sticks had to do when I was younger, fencing blades will have to do for now. I think I am destined for the sabre event (cough lightsaber) and would dominate any opponent as if he were a mere Padawan.

Torshin: Beach Volleyball - Well I bet many of you are wondering why I picked beach volleyball with my first round pick out of the plethora of possible sports to choose from. Quite simply I picked it for the women. If you are the world's best beach volleyball player you are going to be spending plenty of time on a beach with a great body and have thousands of bikini-clad women attempting to get into your pants to find some endorsement money or something like that. Why choose a sport if the sport isn't going to get you any women?

JuicyJuice: Team Handball - There’s a reason that soccer (real football) won’t get drafted for long time: it sucks to play because you can’t use your hands. (Ed. note: Funny, 'cause your motha didn't feel the same way...) In basketball, you can thread the needle with a pinpoint pass through a defender’s legs. And you can do this because you can use your hands to advance the ball. The best you can do in soccer is kick the ball to a general space and put it on some a teammate’s foot. Would I ever choose to complete a task using my feet? No. So, if you improve the rules of soccer and play the game with your hands … you’ve got team handball! It’s everyone’s favorite gym game (dodgeball) but with a strategic purpose, the same as soccer’s: beat the defense and a goalie to rip a g. Sweet.

theShow: Decathlon - Oh you're good at one event...well I can dominate anyone in 10 different events ranging from the long jump to the javelin throw. In other words, I am the best all-around athlete at the Olympics and in turn the entire WORLD. I'll take that. Plus Bruce Jenner, shown at right, parlayed his gold medal from the decathlon into a lucrative career doing absolutely nothing. Too bad his face looks like it is made of rubber now.

blogsquatch: Archer who lights the Olympic Torch - Yeah, all these so-called "sports" are great, but really, why are they great? Would you ever watch team handball or track and field or any of this stuff if it didn't have the title "Olympics" attached? Of course not. These sports are on TV (a lot) and people care about them only because of the setting and the traditions that come with it. Who better to symbolize those traditions than the man who commences the Games by launching a burning arrow into the Olympic Cauldron like a hero of old? I get goosebumps just writing about it...

SoBDD: Mile - According to Standard Rules & Measurements, a mile is 5280 feet, 3074.201 Egyptian cubits, 1760 yards, 1609.334 meters, 880 fathoms, or .000000000000170108 light years. According to those who love track and field, a mile is perfect. For years, the four-minute mile was thought to be the boundary of excellence through which no human could pass without jeopardizing his life. Though the barrier has long since been broken, the mile still holds unparalleled public cache. Running a mile takes an equal mix of aerobic and anaerobic oxidation, an equal mix of speed and endurance, an equal mix of guts and guile. To be the world's finest miler is truly to be the world's finest runner. There is no higher title than that.

(Ed. note: Yes, we know the mile has never been contested at the Olympics, with the 1500 meters standing in its stead. But please, don’t let the Communists win: no metric system.)

SoBDD: Water Polo - Though water polo is most widely played on the West Coast, don't let its popularity with those smoker-surfer hippie laid-back cool dudes fool you: this sport is fucking awesome. Water polo is vicious, as the guys in the show-your-junk-trunks constantly batter each both other above and below the water. Water poloists (Poloers? Why don't we go with 'water polo players'...) are ripped, and they absolutely have to be, as they swim, tread water, and fight surreptitiously for 32 straight minutes. They can also propel themselves high out of the water, using only their abs and legs, in order to shoot or make a save. It's rugby in the water, plus you get to look like The Man shooting, just like in team handball. Of, if only I could swim...

blogsquatch: Badminton - Think about your family reunions. Okay, so at my family reunion we mostly hit pinatas, drink Coronas, and eat tacos, but I bet I know what happens at yours. Grandma smells funny and pinches your cheek, your aunts talk about how much you've grown, creepy Uncle Chris has too much to drink and starts saying inappropriate things to your 12-year-old cousin... And, eventually, someone pulls out a backyard badminton set. If you're no good at it, badminton is about the lamest thing there is, but if you're sick--wowzer. It offers the chance for high-flying hard-hitting action, as you fire your cock at your family members hit the shuttle back and forth. Aunt Rosie made you eat her uber-shitty pineapple upside down cake? WHAM! Grandpa got you a Blue's Clues video for Christmas, even though you're 15 years old? SLAM! Your tease of a cousin won't kiss you, even a peck on the cheek for crying out loud? BLAM! It would be awesome to show your family how you really feel by kicking their collective asses as badminton.

theShow: Trampoline - This is a new event, not sure of the actual name of the event, but you might as well just call it: Little People Bouncing Up and Down. I just think it would be cool to go that high and flip and spin like crazy. Who didn't love trampolines as a kid, hell I still love them, why wouldn't you want to do it competitively?

JuicyJuice: Table Tennis - I get my ass kicked regularly by all of my friends at ping pong. Actually, at all racquet sports for that matter. So if I could pick one racquet sport to take revenge upon them, it would no doubt be the most serious of them all: table tennis. Olympic table tennis requires agility, power, quickness, and the ability to do all of those things with a deft hand (because you’re smacking around a tiny plastic ball). I don’t know if you have witnessed anything but casual ping-pong, but table tennis is not a game for the weak-minded. To return the blistering serves these athletes are forced back yards away from the edge of the table, and then volley from that distance. Putting spin (“english,” or as my friends say, “jizz”) on a ball is one of the coolest things in sports. Pitching a baseball or a golf ball is cool, but not as sweet as chopping a ping pong ball or ripping a vicious backhand.

Torshin: Shooting - Screw China. That's the reason I picked rifles with my second pick. For years China has been pouring ridiculous amounts of funding into less well known sports such as all the riflery events and other things like table tennis, diving, and many others in order to increase their medal count. Basically I'm taking one for the team in order to rob those communists of a few medals. Also it would be pretty cool to be amazing at shooting things 'cause you could make serious bank doing parlor tricks like shooting quarters and stuff.

Doctor Dozer: Archery - I'm not a fan of guns. Not at all really. It's the only point in the Constitution that I completely disagree with (maybe the 19th Amendment as well...). I mean, imagine how much safer you'd feel if guns didn't saturate this country. But bows and arrows? Totally OK. I mean, think of all the awesomeness that went down in the times of Robin Hood. Think of how cool it must be to tag a deer or some other furred beast with an arrow so that you can eat it and put its head on your wall. Think of that scene in Hero at the end where he is just demolished by a wall of arrows or the scene in 300 where the same thing happens but the Spartans are too cool for it. Archery is totally sweet because it is simple, traditional, and bad ass. If I could be awesome at it, I would steal from the rich, feed my family, and try to kill heroic figures.

Doctor Dozer: Sailing - So many of our friends are of substantial amounts of old wealth and, as such, are sailing enthusiasts. My motivation for selecting such a preppy, nauseating sport is this: I would love to be better at their elitist pasttime than they are. Imagine me racing against a certain Gary Hotchkiss in a regatta, swinging the jib boom all over the place as I expertly maneuver my vessel past his, maybe even in circles around his, as I deftly beat him to the finish line. I would love to see him in his white pants, boat shoes, and pastel shirt standing dumbstruck on the dock, stunned at the defeat. It would be almost as good as slaying theShow's mother and having him find out about it. One can always dream... (I <3 Anne Marie)

Torshin: Soccer - Yes I picked soccer. Or futbol or football or whatever the hell you want to call it. If I'm going to be the best at something hell I might as well be the best at the most popular sport. I don't care if you are the fastest 10km runner in the world most people aren't going to know your name. I don't care if you can swim faster than most fish because people are going to forget you pretty quickly. But if I'm one of the world's top soccer players, not only am I going to be rich but I'm going to be famous.

JuicyJuice: Modern Pentathlon - Often called the "sport that most accurately conveys the ideals of Olympism." Only true renaissance athletes are fit to compete in this event. You may have run track in high school, maybe you run marathons now. But after running 3 km, can you complete a show jumping course on horseback? Slay a fencing opponent? Win a 200 meter freestyle swimming race? And then out-shoot enemies in a pistol shooting competition? Didn’t think so. Surprisingly this ridiculous event has been an Olympic sport since 1912. Modern pentathlon medalists would have been elite soldiers during the American Revolution/ Civil War: can travel quickly by foot, water, or horseback and master of the sword and gun.

Ed. note: So the "sport that most accurately conveys the ideals of Olympism"--you know, achieving a spirit of better understanding between men and nations, as well as competition for the sake of pushing oneself towards excellence--is...one designed to train and test army officers?

theShow: High Dive - I enjoy swimming pools, but high dives scare the piss out of me. I think it is so impressive what those guys/girls do from the time they leave the platform to the time their svelt bodies splash into the water. Please refrain from any Greg Lougayness jokes please. Thank you.

blogsqatch: Rhythmic Gymnastics - Did you ever play that game with Chinese fortune cookies (no, not that game, Dozer) where you added "in bed" to the fortune. You know: "You will have great success"... In bed! "Be adventurous and good things will happen to you"... In bed! "The time is right to make new friends"... In bed! See, never gets old. What does that game have to do with rhythmic gymnastics? Not much, really, except I'd really like to be "in bed" with some of these rhymthic gymnasts. Just think: all the grace, flexibility, need for affirmation, and general sexiness of regular gymnasts (Ed. note: And the unnaturally delayed menstruation!), but skilled with sex toys hoops, balls, and ribbons. Woo Hoo!

SoBDD: Field Hockey - I love field hockey for its unique strategy--being only able to play with the right side of the stick really changes the game (imagine if you were only allowed to dribble a basketball with your right hand)--for its exciting penalty corners, for the speed and grace with which the players move, for its status as the only sport that India would ever have a hope of winning a medal in, and for the challenge of the drag flick, which some have described as the most difficult thing to do in sports. Eh, who am I kidding? I just want to wear a skirt.

What about you? Yes, we picked a lot of great events, but there are a bunch we missed. Put your own in the comments.

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