As our dear friend SOBDD mentioned, we enjoy our fantasy sports at BIBTTP. What he may or may not have mentioned (so I didn't read his most recent post that closely) is that he and I are in the same league. We call it "The Bush League." Maybe that's not the most original name we could have come up with, but you know what? Ya motha. It's a decent name, a strong one, and one we won't easily forget. What's more important about the league than it's name, however, is the commissioner: Doctor Dozer.
This is a guy that built a multi-hundred dollar seasonal not-for-profit business from nothing. He used already-created websites that host fantasy football leagues to support his entire infrastructure. From there he recruited investors, raised capital, and increased utility of all investors (even if he didn't give them all equally sized returns on the assets under management). He's a great man, and his story is certainly worth looking into.
At least that's what I can hear John Madden saying about me when they run a special about me on ESPN Fantasy (which I'm sure they'll have sooner than never, and I'm sure he'll be around to comment on it). And on the special, they'll talk about four keys to running a successful fantasy league: enthusiasm, organization, honesty, and innovation.
But before I get to those qualities, why does it matter? What's the big deal about having a good fantasy league? How can the commissioner even help that much in that regard? Well, certainly owner interest and participation are important, but if the commissioner isn't there to give some sort of feed back to guys that bring that sort of enthusiasm to the league, they might start looking elsewhere for their fantasy jollies. The commissioner also plays a huge part in obtaining these serious and competitive owners, sort of like the producer of a movie. You have to bring characters together that will interact well with one another and make for some solid entertainment. His role as an arbiter is equally important, for disputes do arise in fantasy sports. People are accused of video taping the prep work of another or taking too long on draft day or backing out of a trade after it was already agreed upon, and the commissioner has to keep everyone happy and playing fair. Finally, fantasy sports is always getting better, and the commissioner is the conduit to those improvements. Even if the league has a guy like that in it that is not the commissioner, the changes won't be made without a unifying, Genghis Kahn-like voice that brings it all together.
OK, so at this point you should understand the importance of the role of fantasy football commissioner. If you don't, suck a wang bone. If you do, but you don't appreciate me telling those that didn't to suck a wang bone, SUCK YOURSELF A WANG BONE. Alright. Now for the how-to section of this article. For all of you that have been sitting there thinking, "DAMMIT, Doctor, show me how to live already!" your wait is over.
Enthusiasm: If you're not excited about it, you'll never take care of it. Just think how quickly you love doing chores as opposed to how quickly you love playing Madden [Enter newest version here] as soon as you get it. Fantasy football itself needs to be that exciting to you. If your research of and preparation for your own season as a fantasy owner starts to lack, how can the league itself take precedence to anything at all in your life? We all know how busy life can be with families, jobs, religious affiliations, other hobbies, etc. If winning your fantasy league starts to roll down your list of things that matter, don't even think you'll have the dedication to the fantasy league that it takes to be successful as a commissioner.
Organization: You just can't be a slob. The night of the draft (which should always be done live), there's a lot going on that you need to take care of. Down the road, when you need to decide if a player is keeper eligible based on when he was taken, you need to open up your Excel sheet (and you have to be a master of Excel, obviously), click on the tab that says "Any and all player transfers this season," and tell everyone exactly what went down 10 weeks ago. If you can't see yourself maintaining that kind of information about the league and doing it well, the league WILL suffer at some point, and it will be your fault. If you aren't organized, you really can't do this job as it requires you to be on top of any dispute, any question, or any fact about your league at a moment's notice.
Honesty: Yes, I'm a cheater. I used to steal used golf balls from the golf course I worked at in high school. I would also get a 50% discount on ice cream and candy in the pro shop, so when I worked the register and someone would buy an ice cream, I'd charge them full price but ring it up as two discounted ones for me. That way that cash was all there and the inventory was accounted for. If only that witch ever looked to see how many toasted almond ice cream bars were eaten a day at the discount price. "Chris, there's no way you ate 12 ice cream bars today!" "You're right... I ate six..." and I'd punch her in the face and run. Anyway, the league simply can't have that sort of nonsense going on. There are a ton of times when I could easily say, "Well it's 1:05, and Willie Parker just broke his leg. I'm sure no one would notice if I subbed in Ryan Grant..." And they wouldn't notice. I'd get away with it easily. But the league's integrity is huge, and once that is gone, you're basically trying to steal your friends money, and that's crap. The integrity of the league matters, and that means the commissioner's honesty matters. If you don't trust yourself to stay out of league funds, appoint a treasurer. If you don't think you'll be honest in reviewing transaction requests at the end of the week, have a friend outside the league do it with you or for you (what I'm really talking about is playing with weiners, but it works with commissioning a league, as well).
Innovation: This, I think, is the most important aspect of commissioning an enjoyable and kick-ass fantasy league. Keeping your league on the cutting edge of everything. Making it exciting and rewarding and FUN! Without that kind of initiative from the commissioner, the league stagnates and gets boring. You're right, you can't fix something that isn't broken, but I'm sure as shit your league isn't perfect, queer, so pull your thumb out of your dog's ass and face facts. You can make it better year in and year out. You just have to be willing to a) think up cool ideas, b) take the time to explain them to everyone, and c) make them work even if it requires some extra work on your part. Over the past three years, my league has made a ton of changes. We've experimented with divisons and conferences and sizes of both (settling on a system of 4 divisons of 3 teams each). We've attempted to add an auction element to our weekly transactions (and it's working well). We've made our redraft league into a semi-keeper league that rewards people that take young players that breakout in the season ahead (Brandon Marshall) by allowing them to keep them at the cost of a draft pick two rounds ahead of where they were taken last year (as long as they were taken sometime after the first 6 rounds). We've changed our draft style from serpentine to third round reversal to improve league parity and make things more interesting. And that's just the major stuff. We're constantly tweaking scoring and scheduling and drafting and keeper options and waiver options. Most of it starts with me, but even if it doesn't, the commissioner has to field ideas and make them work. Keep your league on the cutting edge, or it's blade will dull and will cut your sack when you shave your balls at the start of next season.
Anyway, that's my take on fantasy league commissioning. Get it done, but above all else enjoy it. Who knew operating a league that has owners pretending to own a team of athletes that they'll never be half as good as could be so fun?
The Doctor
This is a guy that built a multi-hundred dollar seasonal not-for-profit business from nothing. He used already-created websites that host fantasy football leagues to support his entire infrastructure. From there he recruited investors, raised capital, and increased utility of all investors (even if he didn't give them all equally sized returns on the assets under management). He's a great man, and his story is certainly worth looking into.
At least that's what I can hear John Madden saying about me when they run a special about me on ESPN Fantasy (which I'm sure they'll have sooner than never, and I'm sure he'll be around to comment on it). And on the special, they'll talk about four keys to running a successful fantasy league: enthusiasm, organization, honesty, and innovation.
But before I get to those qualities, why does it matter? What's the big deal about having a good fantasy league? How can the commissioner even help that much in that regard? Well, certainly owner interest and participation are important, but if the commissioner isn't there to give some sort of feed back to guys that bring that sort of enthusiasm to the league, they might start looking elsewhere for their fantasy jollies. The commissioner also plays a huge part in obtaining these serious and competitive owners, sort of like the producer of a movie. You have to bring characters together that will interact well with one another and make for some solid entertainment. His role as an arbiter is equally important, for disputes do arise in fantasy sports. People are accused of video taping the prep work of another or taking too long on draft day or backing out of a trade after it was already agreed upon, and the commissioner has to keep everyone happy and playing fair. Finally, fantasy sports is always getting better, and the commissioner is the conduit to those improvements. Even if the league has a guy like that in it that is not the commissioner, the changes won't be made without a unifying, Genghis Kahn-like voice that brings it all together.
OK, so at this point you should understand the importance of the role of fantasy football commissioner. If you don't, suck a wang bone. If you do, but you don't appreciate me telling those that didn't to suck a wang bone, SUCK YOURSELF A WANG BONE. Alright. Now for the how-to section of this article. For all of you that have been sitting there thinking, "DAMMIT, Doctor, show me how to live already!" your wait is over.
Enthusiasm: If you're not excited about it, you'll never take care of it. Just think how quickly you love doing chores as opposed to how quickly you love playing Madden [Enter newest version here] as soon as you get it. Fantasy football itself needs to be that exciting to you. If your research of and preparation for your own season as a fantasy owner starts to lack, how can the league itself take precedence to anything at all in your life? We all know how busy life can be with families, jobs, religious affiliations, other hobbies, etc. If winning your fantasy league starts to roll down your list of things that matter, don't even think you'll have the dedication to the fantasy league that it takes to be successful as a commissioner.
Organization: You just can't be a slob. The night of the draft (which should always be done live), there's a lot going on that you need to take care of. Down the road, when you need to decide if a player is keeper eligible based on when he was taken, you need to open up your Excel sheet (and you have to be a master of Excel, obviously), click on the tab that says "Any and all player transfers this season," and tell everyone exactly what went down 10 weeks ago. If you can't see yourself maintaining that kind of information about the league and doing it well, the league WILL suffer at some point, and it will be your fault. If you aren't organized, you really can't do this job as it requires you to be on top of any dispute, any question, or any fact about your league at a moment's notice.
Honesty: Yes, I'm a cheater. I used to steal used golf balls from the golf course I worked at in high school. I would also get a 50% discount on ice cream and candy in the pro shop, so when I worked the register and someone would buy an ice cream, I'd charge them full price but ring it up as two discounted ones for me. That way that cash was all there and the inventory was accounted for. If only that witch ever looked to see how many toasted almond ice cream bars were eaten a day at the discount price. "Chris, there's no way you ate 12 ice cream bars today!" "You're right... I ate six..." and I'd punch her in the face and run. Anyway, the league simply can't have that sort of nonsense going on. There are a ton of times when I could easily say, "Well it's 1:05, and Willie Parker just broke his leg. I'm sure no one would notice if I subbed in Ryan Grant..." And they wouldn't notice. I'd get away with it easily. But the league's integrity is huge, and once that is gone, you're basically trying to steal your friends money, and that's crap. The integrity of the league matters, and that means the commissioner's honesty matters. If you don't trust yourself to stay out of league funds, appoint a treasurer. If you don't think you'll be honest in reviewing transaction requests at the end of the week, have a friend outside the league do it with you or for you (what I'm really talking about is playing with weiners, but it works with commissioning a league, as well).
Innovation: This, I think, is the most important aspect of commissioning an enjoyable and kick-ass fantasy league. Keeping your league on the cutting edge of everything. Making it exciting and rewarding and FUN! Without that kind of initiative from the commissioner, the league stagnates and gets boring. You're right, you can't fix something that isn't broken, but I'm sure as shit your league isn't perfect, queer, so pull your thumb out of your dog's ass and face facts. You can make it better year in and year out. You just have to be willing to a) think up cool ideas, b) take the time to explain them to everyone, and c) make them work even if it requires some extra work on your part. Over the past three years, my league has made a ton of changes. We've experimented with divisons and conferences and sizes of both (settling on a system of 4 divisons of 3 teams each). We've attempted to add an auction element to our weekly transactions (and it's working well). We've made our redraft league into a semi-keeper league that rewards people that take young players that breakout in the season ahead (Brandon Marshall) by allowing them to keep them at the cost of a draft pick two rounds ahead of where they were taken last year (as long as they were taken sometime after the first 6 rounds). We've changed our draft style from serpentine to third round reversal to improve league parity and make things more interesting. And that's just the major stuff. We're constantly tweaking scoring and scheduling and drafting and keeper options and waiver options. Most of it starts with me, but even if it doesn't, the commissioner has to field ideas and make them work. Keep your league on the cutting edge, or it's blade will dull and will cut your sack when you shave your balls at the start of next season.
Anyway, that's my take on fantasy league commissioning. Get it done, but above all else enjoy it. Who knew operating a league that has owners pretending to own a team of athletes that they'll never be half as good as could be so fun?
The Doctor
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