KG = The Man

So I flipped on the tv tonight to check if the Celtics game was still on, only to see that they’d just lost 109-104 to the Oklahoma City Thunder. I took a shower, checked a couple other channels, and was just surfing the web with the Celtics post-game show on in the background. That was, until I heard Kevin Garnett say something to the effect of, “I thought we were playing against Michael fucking Jordan with the way he (Kevin Durant) was getting calls tonight. He takes more free throws than our entire team … that’s the game right there.”

At that moment I realized, wow, I need to appreciate this while I still can:

a professional athlete who pours every ounce of himself into every game he plays in, and who genuinely cares about the outcome, almost to a point that’s unhealthy. Paul Pierce was appropriately somber, doling out typical post-loss clichés, and it was clear that he was pissed too. But KG was devastated. He wouldn’t look up and make eye contact with the reporters in front of him. He spoke only in short, mumbled sentences, and he got up and left as fast as he could.

And the thing is, he’s like this after every loss.

It’s not like they just lost a Finals game or even a playoff game. This was game number 74 of the regular season, against a team that’s not in their conference, and that they would most likely not meet in the NBA finals if they made it there. Garnett was just legitimately upset that the team he plays for lost to another team. He was upset enough that he didn’t bother censoring himself on live tv. In the era of exploding salaries and egos, we see fewer and fewer professional athletes that care about winning and losing just for the sake of winning and losing.

Which is why I stopped what I was doing and watched the rest of the post-game show. Appreciate the Kevin Garnett’s of the sports world while you still can.

Science Fiction: We Run Shit Now

I like Dashboard Confessional and lots of other soft music. And karaoke. And computers. And xkcd. And video games. And math. And history. And blogs about technology and software and all other kinds of stuff. And I absolutely love science fiction.


I am quite definitely a science fiction guy. But I haven't always waved that banner with pride. I started out as a Star Wars guy. I read the entire Young Jedi Knights series between 4th grade and probably 8th. I went on to read The New Jedi Order Series, the X-Wing Series, and The Legacy of the Force series. I tell people I have read 100 Star Wars books, and I don't think that's an exaggeration. Really. And now that I feel *almost* grown up, I've graduated to all sorts of television shows, movies, and books that are the lifeblood of science fiction, whether classic or cutting edge. And I'm probably a dork for it all. But lately, it feels like it's something I can be proud of. Why? Let me show you.

So you all probably know of my complete obsession with Scrubs (at least the first 8 seasons). I think that obsession says a lot about me. You see, the main character is a certain John Dorian (Zach Braff), and at times he is the most typical guy, but at other times (the times that make him the character that all fans of the show love and adore) he is absolutely atypical. He is sensitive and girly and soft and so... un-macho. And people love it. For example (and there are a million), in one episode that I can't remember too much about, JD goes to a bar with Turk and Dr. Cox and they drink beer. It's a guys night out. And at some point JD refers to it as his night to pretend he likes beer. And after saying that, you watch him choke some beer down like it was his first time; he totally hates it. He'd much rather have a delicious appletini! And I think people love him, especially this atypical guy side, because of some larger shift in what is "cool" that has been going on in our culture. Maybe not from top to bottom, but it feels like the "edgy" groups in our society have stamped out trails that, in one way or another, show the rest of us that it's OK and even trendy to just own up to being un-macho, un-cool, un-popular, and just un- in general. Don't be the typical guy. Don't have the typical interests. Be yourself.

And I think me, and apparently lots of other people in the country, are getting that message. We're just being ourselves and owning up to our interests. We're reading dork comics and writing dork blogs and wearing dork tee-shirts. We're OK with that. And some girls seem to like that. I swear to God, I have told girls I have courted on first dates that I am a huge sci-fi fan and they have gone on to make out with me. Certainly not BECAUSE of that, but maybe IN SPITE of it? Either way, we made out, and they knew I was a dork.

But this isn't an article about bucking trends and being yourself. And it certainly is NOT an article about the Doctor getting with chicks. Let's save that for another time (like when you bring that sexy mother of yours around ;) ). It's about science fiction! Of all the dork things that people can buy into and obsess over, I think it's suffered a great deal in terms of general acceptance. It's a label that's been worn by the forerunners of the genre, a banner they've carried, that probably hasn't won them any popularity contests in times and decades when jocks and rock-and-roll and drugs ruled the scene. When high school was a death sentence for people that quoted Star Wars and had fake lightsaber battles (think the Geeks of Freaks and Geeks).

But it isn't that way anymore. Read this list before we go on:

Time travel
Super powers
Aliens
Space travel
Hoverboards
Holograms
Seeing the future
Radiological mutants
Mythology
Ghosts
Robots

Seen any movies or television shows with anything like that in them? Read any books, comics, cereal boxes? Science fiction is EVERYWHERE! Let's start with TV. Lost, V, Flash Forward, Heroes and Fringe are primetime TV shows on major networks! Dig a little deeper and you find Doctor Who, Dollhouse, Battlestar Galactica, Caprica, Star Trek, The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Smallville, and Torchwood, all quality programs that have been on TV recently or are on now.

How about movies? I Am Legend, Hancock, Avatar, Spiderman, Iron Man, Push, Monsters vs. Aliens, The Road, Watchmen, District 9, Cloverfield, Wall-E, Transformers, and Jumper have all come out in the past 3 years! I'm sure we could list a hundred more that you've seen or want to see. And a hundred more you will see.

Books? Try Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter. Twilight. And many, many others that are just soaring with popularity.

The fact of the matter is that Science Fiction is enjoying a golden age right now, and I'm so psyched to be experiencing it. Not only is it awesome to see pop culture accessing these really awesome stories and universes and ideas, but it's also made it so much easier to find the classics. I've had no trouble whatsoever finding lists of Top X Classic Sci Fi authors I need to read. And I've read them. And Bradbury and Vonnegut and Wells and Verne and Asimov and Le Guin and Orwell and Dick and Huxley have started fires on my lap and made crinks in my neck as I've read almost constantly. And new and amazing science fiction keeps getting churned out! Cory Doctorow, Neal Stephenson, Ted Chiang to name a few. All beyond amazing.

Not to mention the films I've gotten a hold of. Akira. Being John Malkovich. Primer. Blade Runner. Logan's Run. Alien. The Abyss. Planet of the Apes. 2001: A Space Odyssey. A diverse list with many spots left to fill. And I still have classics to look forward to delving into, which is a treasure I cherish. But I also have cutting edge material to expect and enjoy, and I have no doubt that I will. And I think a lot of people will. I also hope they get to enjoy some of the classics at some point. Books and movies and television shows. There's such amazing work out there. And it's even more amazing in a time where it's not only acceptable, but it's cool. It's trendy. It's wanted. So let go of your preconceived notions and just dive in.

I guess I should leave off by wondering aloud the real question I've skirted: why? Why is science fiction catching on? Why is the population at large seemingly grabbing hold of it and loving it like a child? First of all, I think that as much as different entertainment media offer people escape, nothing gets us as far from ourselves as something that is entirely imagined but very believable. Second, as science digs so much deeper into the truths of the universe, the hypothesized futures laid out before us in the realm of science fiction become more palatable. We can see these things happening, and it's fun to imagine them before they are realized. It's also super interesting to imagine the problems that our advancements may cause, and it's useful to try to predict the hard questions and difficult problems that might arise. Third, there are some classics that paved the way. Star Wars. Back to the Future. Ghost Busters. The people liked it, and they got more of it. Fourth and final, it's just damn cool. Super powers. The force. Light sabers. Space travel. Time machines. It's so cool! We all wish for these breakthroughs in science to occur as quickly as possible. But until they do, we'll just have to imagine them. And we will. And we are. And it's amazing.

Science Fiction runs shit now. Get used to it.

Yours,
Doctor Dozer

Olympian Disaster?

So I really like the Olympics. It feels really Sci Fi to me somehow. Sci Fi!? Come on, Doctor Dozer. You must be pulling my leg. Nay, I jest not. I feel like the whole "delegations from foreign lands competing in games of balls and wit" thing is done a LOT in science fiction. Harry Potter, anyone? How about Pod racing in Episode I? Mortal Kombat? OK, maybe I'm stretching now, but there ARE some good examples there, and I'm sure I haven't thought of many more.

But that isn't the point of the post. That just explains my inclination towards liking the Olympics. However, I am not at all fond of the current games, and I think I can explain that better than my "Olympic - Sci Fi" connection above.

So I used the word disaster, and I'm going to stick with that. Main point here? The weather. How terrible. It has delayed events, made for crappy venues, and generally made for an annoying news story. If someone says the words "Vancouver," "snow," and "Dallas, Washington DC, etc" in the same sentence, I will shave Bob Costas' eyebrows off. How will you like your Olympics, then?

But it's more than just that. The tragic luge accident has also put a damper on my enjoyment of the games. Not only did a man lose his life in what can only be defined as practice for a game, but I've tried to understand the appeal of the sled sports since the accident, and I cannot for the life of me grasp what's so cool about it. I don't understand what separates one competitor for another. And on top of my inability to understand, a part of me is furious that the course has been made LESS dangerous after the accident. I mean, logically, I totally applaud the move for safety in the Olympic games. The tragedy that occurred is something that hopefully never is repeated. At the same time, I have this unexplainable lust for spectacle that wishes that the 9 stories of height that they removed from the track be restored so that they can go dangerously fast. I am insane.

Finally, I heard someone funny say this a few nights ago: how many ways are there to watch people slide on snow or ice? At some point, it just becomes too much. I realized, after seeing these different forms of sliding, that my love of Olympics is limited to the Summer games. There are running, throwing, cycling, jumping... everything a guy can want. Not just... sliding...

So the verdict? The Winter Olympics, and especially these Winter Olympics in Vancouver 2010, suck. Power to the Summer Games. And to world class athlete females wearing bikinis and playing volleyball. Oh my...

Doctor Love

The Sites I Frequent

I'm sure you've been wondering about this for a while, and here is the answer to the question that keeps you up night after night: What websites do I, Doctor Dozer(himself), keep myself entertained with? What sites does he have to keep up with for fear of missing something hilarious, enlightening, or important? Well, click that little link... yeah, that one... and I'll tell you.

The first three are members of the Gawker Media universe. From Wikipedia, "Gawker Media is an online media company founded and owned by Nick Denton based in New York City. It is considered[1] to be one of the most visible and successful blog-oriented media companies. As of January 2009, it is the parent company for 10 different weblogs, including Gawker.com, Defamer, Fleshbot, Deadspin, Lifehacker, Gizmodo, io9, Kotaku, Jalopnik, and Jezebel." Basically, depending on what you are into, you can find a blog for you in one of those for sure. I happen to love three of them.

1. Lifehacker - Lifehacker is a polished site with fantastic posts each day about one thing and one thing only: streamlining your life, aka "hacking" your life. This can include tips about random things everyone might do (from making DIY outdoor lamps to wiring your apartment and turning your xbox into a media hub) to pieces of software or other applications that might somehow make things easier on you. Even if the tip doesn't apply directly to me, I learn a lot about random things, save some money on DIY projects or free software, and have a good time reading good writing.

2. Gizmodo - A very similar site, but this one focuses its attention on gadgetry and software almost exclusively. The latest news on the newest phones, cameras, computers, navigation devices, high tech pens, and whatever other gadgets your fingers desire. They also do a really good job giving open and honest opinions about cutting edge products (helped me decide to purchase an iPhone). They also do a great job keeping me up-to-date on the latest and greatest iPhone apps while also informing me when apps are being offered for free (my favorite).

3. io9 - io9 is a blog about Science Fiction. It covers popular Sci Fi, shows like Lost or Heroes or Avatar or Spiderman or other heroey stuff, and also classic Science Fiction texts and movies and things. Lastly, it cover science fiction ideas, like futuristic artwork or architecture, possibilities of planet colonization, or any other topics that come up in contemporary works of Science Fiction. Great site, and one that proudly waves the Science Fiction banner I march behind.

The next few will be sort of random. But they are great. We'll start with a classic, and end with, well, I'm not sure because I haven't gotten there yet. But if you'll just bear with me for a moment (this is a reference to a joke from the next site)...

4. xkcd - This is the holy grail of webcomics. No one even comes close. Self proclaimed as "a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language," which are more than a few of my favorite things. It's actually four of my favorite things. I literally weep for people when I am in my bed at night after I reference xkcd and they tell me they have never heard of it. Don't make nerds cry: experience a great comic today.

5. Conquer Club - Again, I'm starting to (starting to!?) come to grips with the fact that I am a huge dork. I like board games. Risk is one of my all time favorites. And this site does a really great job handling risk. You play in games with strangers on new and exciting maps of fictional or real places with the same goal - taking over the world. You simply take turns making your moves, and each player has 24 hours to take their turn. There are nuances, obviously, associated with playing the game online, but you'll learn them all. Best of luck, and you can't touch me.

6. Zero Punctuation - Man, I'm just a dork. Dammit. Anyway, this site absolutely kills me. It's a constantly growing collection of hilarious (beyond hilarious) video game reviews done by Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. He is offensive in the best possible ways and is a tough critic on a genre of art that needs tough criticism. We've been throwing our money at video games for too long to just blindly purchase whatever the next "rage" is without someone we trust filtering out the crap for us. Thanks for being that guy, Ben. I, personally, purchased The Orange Box on your recommendation alone and never regretted it. PS - I am a full supporter of your movement to bring an end to the exclusive use of the brown on brown color scheme that ruins the current generation of video games. Thanks for being you,

7. Coming Soon - ComingSoon.net keeps you abreast (A BREAST!?!?!) of the latest movie news. This, for me, mainly consists of me checking their "most popular" list and scrolling down the list of "Most Craved this Week" movies and watching the latest trailers, reading the latest rumors, or finding out what some movie is actually about. A great site if your into movies at all. It singlehandedly kept me sane for the year and six months during which I waited for Avatar to come out. So worth it...

8. CastTV - My first destination when it comes to watching television shows online (which I do a lot of these days). Let's face it - TV has gotten a LOT better over the last few years. And that means there are a lot of shows to watch. And that might mean you miss some from time to time. Or you might miss them completely and want to go back and experience the show you never learned about until after its end (Jericho, Arrested Development, Battlestar Galactica, etc.). This site links you to places that host the shows you are interested in, both pay sites and free sites, and allows you to watch the shows you love and miss anytime you like. Great site.

9. Sporcle - Last but not least is Sporcle. Basically, this is a game site that challenges you with 4 or 5 new puzzles every day that ask you to generate some kind of list. Countries, sports stars, movies, you name it, there are quizzes for you. Lots of fun, and a great diversion/brain teaser when you need a break but want to keep a sharp mind.

That's all for now. That should keep you busy for, oh I don't know, nearly forever. Don't say I didn't warn you. But do thank me (and the creators/generators of all that fantastic content, but me first) for pointing you in the right direction when you do find something you happen to fall in love with. And marry. And bang out and reproduce with. You're welcome in advance.

Yours in Dorkhood,
Doctor "Spin Me Right Round" Dozer

It's Always Sunny

I think I'm going to start a series on converting you to followers of my favorite television programs. Yeah, I just started it (though, truth be told, I've done pieces on Breaking Bad and on Scrubs in the past with the intent of gaining converts...). But I think we shall start with the most ridiculous show on TV... It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Why is it good? What makes it worth your precious time? Jump it and learn.

It's Always Sunny is the most out of control sitcom on TV. I had to qualify that with "sitcom" as opposed to "TV show" because I recently watched an episode of Jersey Shore and wept for my nation. How sad it is that those people exist. But back to more pressing matters, why should you watch It's Always Sunny?

The truth is that this show is hit or miss. When they miss with an episode, you may not laugh one time, but when they hit, you literally could end up rolling across the floor. You might dribble urine into your undies. Seriously. I have.

If you watch and have any friends that watch, I'm sure you've spent time rehashing your favorite moments (and there are definitely a lot). You've spent time trying to do Charlie's "Freak Out" voice. You've been reminded of things you had to put out of your memory for fear that it would render you crippled with laughter at some important time.

If you don't watch, all that I just said should be an indicator that you should. If you need more, here it is: they are simply out of control. Whereas The Office and Scrubs (two comedies I've lobbied hard for in the past) take common situations and make them light and funny, It's Always Sunny takes absurd situations, places absurd characters into them, and has them say and do absurd things. Their viewpoints are dangerous, evil, but always hilarious, and their actions are the same. They are a bunch of losers trying to get ahead in the small world that they know, and they do a terrible job doing so.

But I love them, and you will, too. Go for it. Trust me...

I'm a Doctor.

An Image Used to Represent You on Forums, You Mean?

Hello folks. The Doctor has returned. Maybe you don't care. But it's nice to be writing again. I just wanted to give you a quick movie review on Avatar. Because I know there aren't any of THOSE out there. But maybe mine will be a little different and interesting to you. Or not. But hey, give it a read while you're here. After the jump...

Alright. So Avatar. I think I had been anticipating its release for at least 18 months. I spend a great deal of time perusing the big board they have there about what upcoming releases people are interested in. So every few weeks I go down and look through the top 50 and see what might be interesting. I stay abreast (*breast*!!! hahaha) of anything I find interesting. And I become obsessed with movies I think will be amazing. Avatar was one of those movies. From the first time I read that James Cameron had this film coming out until finally seeing late December, I was hooked.

So let's start with what I actually thought of the film. I think there is only one correct word to use: epic. I think that applies in two different senses. First, we'll go with the more complimentary of the two meanings. The movie was an epic undertaking and has paved the way for new and incredibly appealing uses of movie technology in the future. The 3D elements of the film were amazing. They weren't haughty or overdone. They gave depth not only to the screen, but to the characters. They made the world real and accessible and something you cared about. It was an experience I have not had too often. I'd say the closest thing to that was the Star Wars universe, but really this blew that out of the water.

The other way the word "epic" describes the film is through the story line. It's truly epic. Which is a good thing and a bad. It's a good thing insomuch as the storyline feels important and historically significant. The movie allows you to feel as though you are reliving the legendary times of the Na'vi's past while also painting the aggressively expansionary tendencies of the human race as evil and unacceptable. Even though they are fighting for their already established existence, the viewer almost feels as if he's watching the times that truly create the Na'vi as a people. Their origin tale, or something like that.

However, the outcome is almost too good, too squeaky clean to fall in love with. Which is sometimes how epic tales can be given their age-old or classic nature. You feel you already know the ending, so it lacks that literary element of surprise, making the reader miss out on that burning desire to see the story through to the end. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. But with James Cameron's classic Sci-Fi films (take Alien or The Abyss for example), there is something about the movies that make you HAVE to know what is going to happen, that makes you need it. And Avatar isn't that.

But it still is a great movie, more for the 3D and world-crafting elements than anything else. It lived up to and probably exceeded my expectations in a number of ways. I'm glad it was made, and I'm even more glad it was successful, because now more and more films will try and be just as... epic.

One last point before I get you out of here. It's been a successful appointment so far, so hopefully this doesn't take anything away from it. But I have this friend who I've written about before. He's in the army. Definitely a military type. And he had a tremendously different viewing experience than I think most people would. He was rooting for the humans and could not believe that Jake Sully would abandon his race to support a bunch of savages. I thought this through with him, trying to figure out if his viewpoint could be defended by any sort of human logic, and we decided it could not. The reason he admitted this was because the soldiers he identified with were not of the national variety - they were mercenaries who only did these things to make a buck. That is indefensible, and he is a douche for thinking to support them at all.

Consider yourself vaccinated from the Swine Flu.

PS - Apparently there is a Na'vi sex scene that was deleted from the movie to keep it PG-13. And it will be on the DVD. Something to look forward to there...

RX - More Big Budget Science Fiction Films

The Doctor