Thursday, February 28, 2008

I'm Lost because of Lost

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Hello, hello, ladies and gentleman. Welcome, welcome.

I just wanted to start my blogging career off with a quick word about Lost. It's on tonight, so we'll start there.

I started watching about this time last year. I watched three seasons in two weeks, and then had withdrawals for, what, nine months? Too damned long, however much time it was. Anyway, the show was fascinating, and I fell in love with it. Or became obsessed and had to know what would happen, whether I was thoroughly entertained or not.

A lot has gone on between when I caught up at around episode 18 last year and now. We find out they're getting off the island. People in helicopters and ships are looking for them. But do we really know anything? No. Which is why I'm going to make some absurd conjectures and see what happens.



We already know that Jack, Hugo, Kate, Sayid and Aaron make it off the island as members of the Oceanic 6. Ben is scary.That leaves one more person that will be getting off. I'd have said Sawyer, but after his comments a couple weeks ago, looks like he's not interested. Desmond and Juliette weren't on the flight, so they shouldn't be considered, unless the show isn't playing by the rules. So, I'm going to guess that... Sun makes it off. I just can't see it being Claire or Sawyer or Locke, and she's due for a flashback/forward episode.

The more we think about the Oceanic 6, though, the more my thoughts come to rest on the funeral at season 3's finale. Who was Jack seeing off that no one else would be interested in paying respects to? Was that the 6th person? If that is the Oceanic 6th and no one attends the funeral, does that make it Sawyer or Locke, someone no one would care for? Did the other survivors kill someone that was no longer willing to go along with their story?

And what's with that story anyway? What are they protecting? What horrible thing did they do to get off the island that they must never tell anyone? HOW THE HELL DID KATE STEAL AARON?!? Dammit this is frustrating.

Other thoughts:

We'll never be told anything about the black smoke.

That time travel stuff is VERY scary. What the hell is going on with the missiles and now the helicopter? Hopefully they let us know where the hell Sayid is and what's going on with him. Should be cool to see something of this damned ship.

The more I write, the more frustrated I get at not knowing a damned thing about what's really going on here. Those writer sons of bitches. TELL US SOMETHING!

All this writing makes me miss the greatest show on television, Heroes, more and more. When is that coming back? I hope soon.

Oh, and Breaking Bad is a phenomenal show that no one else I know is watching. More on that in my next post.

Yours,

Doctor Dozer

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

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When Doctor Dozer told me Blogsquatch was starting a blog, I jumped at the chance to be involved. A platform where I could write about what I want, how I want, when I want? Sign me up. You see, about a month ago, on this very site--Blogger, that is, not BIBTTP--I had created Shank Shank--a site dedicated to chronicling the inane ramblings of Dan "The Curly-Haired Boyfriend" Shaughnessy--but the subject was inherently limited, and besides, I stopped once I realized I would have to read Shaugnessy's stuff every day. Before that, I'd tried my hand at blogging, writing a weekly newsletter/power rankings type piece for my fantasy football league, but there, the audience was inherently limited. So, here, in the debonair, suave, and, thankfully-not-the-least-bit-blurry-so-we-can-enjoy-him- in-all-his-handsome-goodness form of Blogsquatch, was my chance to get my voice heard by the masses. Or at least by a couple of bored kids clicking "Next Blog" in the little Blogger window. But I'd take what I could get.

But that voice, the voice so aching to get out, the voice the masses so needed to hear, what was that voice? I mean, what do I have to say that hasn't been said before? The internet is a huge place--or series of tubes, if you prefer--and if you're on it enough to have discovered our lonely little corner of the web, you've probably already seen what I'm going to be writing, only done crisper, funnier, and more succinctly. (Never use a large word when a diminutive one will suffice, that's my motto.) Our blog name--Bigfoot Is Blurry, That's The Problem--is lifted right out of a Mitch Hedberg sketch. Our informal blog motto--a blog about nothing--is stolen straight from "Seinfeld". Hell, even my blogging name, Sons of Big Daddy Drew, owes it paternity--Get it? Paternity?--to someone else out there.

So why do this at all? The masses--if we can ever aspire to have masses at this site--they've heard it before, no? Are we nothing more than rebels without a cause, writers with nothing to say, kids with no voice of their own? I'd like to think not, otherwise I wouldn't've been so excited to be doing this. But maybe that's exactly what we are. And when it comes right down to it, there's nothing wrong with that. So what's it going to be? Your guess is as good as mine. Why don't you stick around and find out?

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Sup

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Hello,
and welcome to our senseless ramblings. I am blurryfoot, and there is no way to describe the goings-on of this discussion group but to state that we have simply found a way to impose our opinions and beliefs upon all those who may unfortunately venture to this site. Too much of our lives are spent being polite, courteous, and most importantly, politically correct. Thus, we intend to bring the exact opposite to this blog. Say what you want, and fear no persecution. Soon you'll be working a shitty job, making much less money than you are worth, and hating every second of it. So get it out now, before expressing yourself gets you sent straight to HR.
yours truly,
blurryfoot

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His Footprints Are Big, But What Does That Say About His... Hands?

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Hey people, welcome to the blog. I just wanted to quickly intro the cast of characters you'll be dealing with around here, despite their categorical blurriness. Just hang in there for us, and maybe we'll be able to open your eyes just a little wider.

blogsquatch - The ringleader of our flaming foursome, blogsquatch brought us all together for the explicit purpose of, well, without an explicit purpose, then. But I do want to let him know that it's great to be here. And I want to let you, the reader, know that he is an attractive undergraduate man. The kind you cry yourself to sleep over. His debonair and his suave moves make all men want to be him and all women want to...well, get after his "bigfoot," if you will. A unique and intelligent guy with a great sense of humor, I wouldn't want to write with anyone else.

Sons of Big Daddy Drew - If you're familiar with Big Daddy Drew's work over at Kissing Suzy Kolber, you'll love this guy. He probably has the most writing experience out of any of the guys here, working for the paper, writing mini-blogs for his fantasy football leagues, and other such acts of pointless authorship. Witty to the extreme, we'll see where his antics take us. I love having him aboard.

Doctor Dozer - Yes, that's me. Ya boi, if you will. Anyway... Yeah, it's not easy writing about yourself. I think we'll go with "smart, handsome, and utterly hilarious." That should probably do it. As far as content you might see in my posts... READ THEM and you'll find out.

blurryfoot wanted to write you guys his own write up, so I'm going to leave you here. He'll take you home. And touch you. Inappropriately. I swear. See you all soon, I hope.

The Dr.

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Our Blurry Mantra

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Hey and welcome to the blog.

As we’ve recently just started this, you probably just stumbled upon this site by some twist of fate since we don’t really have a steady fan base…yet. But that’s about to change. Who are we? Well, we’re really only a few college guys trying to spend some time writing about what interests us, and being college students our tastes range from a wide spectrum of subjects. Basically, we will write about whatever it is we feel like writing. College is a time of stealing music, sneaking into freshman dorms, and wrestling girls into the ground amidst many other things. Don’t you just wish that type of freedom was easy to find? Well, you’ve come to the right place. You can get your little taste of freedom thanks to this blog, where we favor nothing and write about everything.

What we are trying to do is live by the nature of one of the most clever comedians of our time: Mitch Hedberg. He was the embodiment of surreal humor, and made many laugh through his unconventional delivery. This is our mantra. We live every day confined to our small little spaces such as classrooms, libraries, dinning halls, etc. So why not change it a bit. Why not gleefully roam free and have no real purpose. Maybe we care too much about petty little things everyday that we forget to look at what is blurry, thus what may be important in our lives. That is what we are trying to deliver. A blog that has no explicit categorization. We just want to give you the opportunity to learn and read about new things, and maybe then you’ll be surprised and find something you never knew was there in the first place.

So please, take a few moments of your day to peruse through our little baby, and realize that this is in fact the way blogging, and maybe even life, was meant to be done. Without boundaries.

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